Coming Home
by Kushelkitten
Summary: Andy's life told from his POV and his return to Shermer,IL. Who will he encounter?BenderClaire and AndyAllison with a brief appearance by Brian FINALLY UPDATED CHAPTER 17!
1. Default Chapter

A/N The intention was that this was a one shot. I should know by now that what I intend to write and what actually happens are two different things. Next update on this will probably not be before the first of June. Hope you enjoy it.

My life didn't turn out as planned. Freshman year of college my knee went out during a match. It happened quickly. One second I had the guy pinned on the mat and the ref was counting. One...two...and then SNAP! It was over, the match, my wrestling, my ride. Needless to say I lost the match. My old man probably would have handled it better had I hung on till the ref said, "three". Then I would have won. I would have gone out in style, winning the last championship bout of my first college year.

When the E.R doctor asked me what happened I could see the shame on my father's face. He didn't even stay in the room during the examination. Part of me was glad of that. I don't think I could have handled him telling me what a disgrace I was. None of my teammates joined me either. I could only assume they were just as upset as I was. Had I won I would have taken them to the number one. Instead they were just number two. What was it my old man used to say, "No point in being number two, Andy? Number two is shit." I certainly felt like that in the hospital that day, shit.

I found out as soon as school was out for the year that my financial aid had been cut. I wasn't getting much but it got me by, that and a side job. Once I blew my wrestling scholarship I wasn't sure how I was going to finish. My family sure as hell wasn't going to help. I didn't even bother asking. There are no free rides in the Clark family. My mom told me that I could start working in the family business and that my old man would take me on but was too proud to tell me. Me working in the family hardware store selling screws with my dad behind me the whole time telling me how I fucked up my life and missed my chance because I wasn't a winner. I couldn't do that. It would kill me to hear that every day so instead I did what many a college student does, I worked two jobs. I lived 20 hours a day and condensed sleeping down to four hours a night in order to get by.

Surprisingly, or maybe not, once the wrestling stopped and I stopped living for my father my grades went up. I changed my major from teaching and athletics to pre-law. It was always something that I was interested in but never would have done with my old man breathing down my neck. Every time I went home I could see the disappointment in his eyes. He wouldn't even talk to me except to grunt, "Pass the gravy". I missed having a father but that was something I was missing for a long time. The man who pushed me at wrestling was no more a father than John Bender's was.

Whoa! That is a name I haven't thought of in ages. So anyway I graduated pre-law suma cum laude my dad didn't attend the ceremony. My mom and brother Jeff were there to cheer me on. "Your father is really proud of you," mom said with tears in her eyes. "Yeah, then why isn't he here to tell me himself?" "You know how proud and arrogant your father can be." I didn't respond. I just asked her if she was going to take the time to come visit me when I started Northwest University School of Law in the fall. She told me she would try to make it and bring my dad.

I graduated top of my class at NWU too and not once did my parents come up to the north suburbs. And not once did my dad come to that graduation ceremony either. I passed the bar exam with flying colors. Andrew Clarke Attorney at Law. The night I passed the exam I was out with my buddies partying. When I got home there was a frantic call on my answering machine. It was my mom. My dad had a heart attack and was in critical condition. The doctors were going to do an emergency bypass but his chances were pretty slim. Actually if someone had asked me in college if I would be upset by the news I would have told them, "Let him die". Cruel? Maybe but I had lots of pent up anger and resentment towards him then, but now being older, when I heard the news I knew I couldn't let him go without saying good-bye. I couldn't let him go with out him knowing I still loved him despite all the shit he put me through, and I him, through the years.

Too late. What is it people say about telling people you care about them before it was too late? I'm not sure. Probably just to do it. Well I didn't and my dad will never know that I did care about him. I tried to be what he wanted me to be. Everything I did in high school I did for him. _Do you guys know what I did to get in here? I taped Larry Lester's buns together. ... And the bizarre thing is I did it for my old man. I tortured this poor kid because I wanted him to think that I was cool._

There I was standing at his graveside. My mom next to me, my brother, his wife and their two kids, friends of the family, all of us standing there peering into this hole with a wooden box in it. Jeff as the oldest threw the first shovel of dirt on to it, not a tear falling from his eyes. Then again Jeff was the tough one of us Clark boys. My dad held me up to Jeff almost as often as he held me up to himself. "Your brother is a winner. You are winner too Andrew." "Your brother wouldn't let that injury get him down. He would be right there training, ignoring the pain for the sake of winning." Of course even now he was gone I was still the weak Clark boy. At his grave I couldn't shovel the dirt in without thinking about all the years we missed out on having a real father son relationship and crying over the loss. A few of his friends whispered. I know they were talking about me but I didn't care. Turning I handed the shovel to my mom and headed to my car.

I drove for a couple hours. Drove out towards Downers Grove, Naperville, and Aurora, stopped and had a cup of coffee. Never drank coffee until my sophomore year. My dad had this weird thing about me drinking caffeine. Was afraid it would throw off my game. Then I headed back home. Now wasn't the time to be thinking of myself. My mom needed me. Because of the kids Jeff and Elaine wouldn't be staying very long then she would be alone in the big empty house. 

"Andy is that you?" She called as I came in the door.   
"Yeah mom."  
"Thank goodness you're home I was worried about you." As she hugged me I could smell the perfume she had always worn. It was a sweet comforting smell. "I forgot to pick up yams from the grocery store. Mrs. Miller brought a roasted turkey of all things and I thought yams would be nice to go with it but with all that has happened..." She drifted off.  
"No problem I'll just go down to the store. Canned or fresh?"  
"Canned are fine."

The store wasn't very crowded. A few people here and there. I glanced at my watch, four o'clock. Still pretty early it just felt later with the funeral and the overcast day. A couple high school kids wearing Shermer letterman jackets ran to the snack food aisle. A wave of nostalgia washed over me. It wasn't that long ago but it felt like an eternity since I was one of them. As I turned into the canned food aisle and tried to locate the yams I heard, "Do you still wear tights?"

A smile formed on my lips. I recognized that voice even after all the years. Without turning around I answered,"No, I haven't worn the required uniform for about six years now." Grabbing a can off the shelf I stood and turned to see John Bender. He pulled me into an embrace and slapped me on the back. "I thought that was you. Then I heard those sports in the snack food aisle talking and was sure."

"They recognized me?" I asked surprised. I didn't think anyone would remember me, one jock from eight years earlier championship or not. Why would they?

"Guess so."

"What are you up to man?"

"Managing this fabulous gourmet shop," he said with a hint of sarcasm. "And you?"

"Buying yams." We laughed. Then in all seriousness, "I'm only here visiting. My dad's funeral was today."

"Sorry to hear that." He did sound truly sorry too. The John Bender from school would have made some snide remark. "My old man kicked the bucket a few years back."  
I wasn't sure if I should offer condolences to him as well knowing what his dad was like.  
I didn't have to he changed the subject. "So how long will you be in town."

"Just this weekend. I have a couple interviews in the city this week." 

"What kind of job are you looking for?"

"I'm a lawyer. I passed the bar exam just this past Monday."

"A lawyer. I'm impressed. Would have thought you would be a coach." Then he looked around and said, "Want to come into my office. It's not much but we can sit and catch up a bit."

"Actually I can't I need to get these home," I said showing him the can. "My mom is waiting and she isn't doing very well after today. How did your mom take your dad's passing?"

"Not bad. I think she felt relieved. Too bad that she went right out and got herself a new one just as bad as the old."

"Sorry."

"Don't be I'm not. I figured if she wanted to blow it then all the more power to her."

"Well I need to go."

"Hey Andy man, don't be a stranger."

"I won't". Although we both said that I had little doubt it would be different than it was that Monday. We would say we would be friends, get together, and then no one would speak to the others. As far as I knew the only ones who talked to each other after that day were Brian and Allison. They had nothing to lose. I wonder what happened to them and Claire too.


	2. Changes

(A/N Hi everyone, I'm back from vacation. This is just a little something. Next chapter will be better. But for now I hope its okay. Thanks everyone who has reviewed. Once again I own none of the characters from The Breakfast Club)

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I paid for my can of yams and headed home. During the drive I had some time to think. John Bender. That was a blast from the past. Honestly I am surprised he remembered me. I suppose none of the five of us ever would truly forget that Saturday in detention. It was a sort of therapy that made us realize we weren't alone with our troubles and problems.

I don't know what I expected Bender to be when he grew up. In prison I guess. He hardly seemed like the same guy. Then again while six years isn't an eternity it is enough time to change and get your act together.

I hadn't been back to Shermer since I my undergrad years. The tension with my old man had gotten to bad once I stopped wrestling and decided to study law. Whenever I was home I wasn't really home. I was at the theater, the mall, walking in the park, or wherever I could go to avoid the disappointed look that would begin to guilt-trip me. Since he didn't come to my graduation I just stopped coming home. It hurt my mom. I know it did although she never said anything. I think maybe she felt relief that I didn't come home as well. Now driving the Shermer streets things were coming back to me. Seeing Bender Hadn't helped either. He stirred up memories that would have been best forgotten. Hell the whole town had when I arrived but this was different, I was thinking about them, the Breakfast Club.

I was thinking about them so much I almost drove past my house. Stopping I threw the car into reverse, backed up the fifty feet or so and into the driveway. "Mom, I'm back." I called walking in the front door.

"In the kitchen Andrew."

"Smells great in here," I remarked sniffing the air. With the turkey it smelled more like Thanksgiving dinners while growing up instead of a funeral. I gave her a hug and handed her the bag.

"It does smell good doesn't it? Well go get cleaned up and change out of you suit. Then if you wouldn't mind setting up the TV trays we can eat in the living room. Your dad would have a fit knowing that we weren't going to be eating at the table but since it's just the two of us I thought it would be less depressing to eat while watching the movie of the week," she said as she dumped the yams into a bowl and popped them in the microwave.

All I said was "Sure." What else was there to say? I wanted to ask her where Jeff and Elaine were. I had thought they were going to have diner with us so mom wouldn't be alone tonight. Then there was eating in front of the TV. Mom was right, there would have been a fit thrown if it had been suggested. My old man was the type who believed that families should have dinner together unless there was a sporting event on. If mom had suggested it he would have told her how we would all grow up to be delinquents. This maybe was a bit of her own way of stretching her wings.

I changed into a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt I found in my old bedroom. As I put it on I had a flashback of kissing Allison. Closing my eyes to the memory I pulled my shoes back on and went downstairs to set everything up for dinner. Carrying two plates heaping with food from the kitchen she came in and sat on the couch.

"Do you have time this evening to help me sort through some of your father's things?"

"Why?" I was surprised that she wanted to do this already.

"No point in waiting while there are people out there who can use his clothes. I wanted to wait until Jeff had some time too but Jeff is so much taller than your father I doubt he will want anything. Plus there is a nice woman from the shelter coming. I called her yesterday about coming to collect everything before the weekend."

"What woman? What shelter? Mom don't you think you are going a bit fast?" I didn't think I would feel like this about my mom clearing him out of her life so quickly.

"Andrew. I have to do it eventually why not now? People who need a pair of pants or a shirt need them today not in six months. Plus the longer I put it off the harder it will be for me to do this."

I didn't know how to respond so I didn't. We sat watching a boring movie about a woman running from her evil twin sister in silence as we ate. Once we were done I carried our dishes into the kitchen and put the leftovers away. I heard her climb the stairs to begin the task of gathering up his things for charity. It wasn't long before I joined her. By the time the evening was over we had two hefty bags full of things.

"If you could be here tomorrow when the lady comes..."

"Of course I will."

"I think she will do you some good too. She is also a bereavement counselor."

"I don't need..." I started to say but she cut me off.

"You might not think you do but I know how your relationship with your dad was and it might help you too." She laid her hand on my shoulder. I was there to support her but there she was supporting me. Funny that now my dad was gone we were more the way a family should have been. My mom who was always sort of stand-offish from us boys seemed closer now he was gone.

"What time will she be here?"

"We discussed two o'clock. Now you aren't going to go hide are you?"

"No, I'll be there." I said.

She then stood gave me a kiss on my forehead. "You get a goodnight's sleep. And remember regardless of how he acted Andrew, he did love you." With that she left. I wrapped a twist tie around the mouth of the last bag and turned off the light and went to my room, fell into a deep sleep and didn't wake until the birds chirping outside signaled a new day.

I got out of bed and found another pair of sweatpants and some old running shoes and went for a jog. I shouldn't have I didn't wrap my knee so after about two miles it was aching. It was the pain that distracted me. As I ran across the street I heard brakes squeal and felt the bumper against my leg.

"Hey watch where you are running I could have killed you," yelled a feminine voice that rang with familiarity. Looking up through the windshield of the red jaguar my eyes met the deep brown ones of one Claire Standish.


	3. Coffee

(A/N Hi sorry this was a few days late coming. Still trying to get settled back in and used to the gloomy cold weather here. Anyway... here is the next chapter. Still don't own the characters. Oh and the street names are made up except for Michigan Ave which is aka Magnificent Mile and located in downtown Chicago.)

"Hey watch where you are running I could have killed you," yelled a feminine voice that rang with familiarity. Looking up through the windshield of the red jaguar my eyes met the deep brown ones of one Claire Standish.

I stopped and just stared for a moment. Time seemed to slow. She put her hands to her mouth in surprise and cried, "Andy? My god Andy Clarke!" Without turning off the engine she jumped out of the car and threw her arms around me. As with Bender I hadn't seen her since school. Unlike with Bender I actually continued to talk to her. The sports often dated the princesses; it was acceptable. We got on well and she was my confidant for the rest of my senior year. I didn't take her to prom although the school expected me to.

"Claire, you look great."

"So do you. A bit tired but good."

"I haven't slept well lately," I told her.

"I hope I didn't hurt you."

"You didn't have to. My knee was giving me problems, which is why I wasn't exactly watching out."

I could see the thoughts and memories flicker across her eyes. I felt as though she could see the same thing in mine. Funny how when you are in school you never truly comprehend what an important time in your life it was. Parents always say that it just seems important but in a few years you won't even remember it. In a way they are right. Once it's over and done with it doesn't seem like the things you worried about in school were _that_ important, that is until you are faced with them and the memories hit you like a ton of bricks.

Claire turned and opened her car door. "Good thing it's so early that we aren't blocking traffic. She climbed in, leaned over, and opened the passenger door. "Get in."

"Where we going?"

"To get coffee and catch up."

"I should really get back to my mom." Then I looked at my watch. It was barely 8:30 am and I doubted that my mom would be awake yet. I heard her moving around several times last night, the sound of which woke me. She had never slept without my dad before unless he was accompanying my team on meets that were across the state. Even then she said that she couldn't sleep without him. I got in the car, "Never mind my mom won't be up for at least another hour. So where do you want to get coffee?"

"Is Skippy's still around?"

Skippy's was a local family owned doughnut shop that the kids from Shermer high would hang out at. "Actually I drove by yesterday and it was a Starbucks."

"A shame but I bet Deb's family made a killing from selling it."

"Deb?"

"Deborah Morton. You remember her she was co-co-head cheerleader and treasurer of the student counsel."

"Sure." I really didn't. I wasn't friends with the student counsel and the cheerleaders tended to date the football players rather than guys from the other teams regardless of if they were start athletes or not. "So what have you been up to?" I asked trying to change the subject.

"Working. It seems like I have so much to do it isn't funny."

"What do you do?"

"I own my own boutique on Michigan Avenue."

"Wow."

"It's not that impressive."

"Come on Claire, you own a store on Magnificent Mile. Deb's family may have done well selling out to Starbucks but you have to be doing pretty well yourself." She blushed. It always amazed me about Claire that while she was so popular and knew it yet she was easily embarrassed.

"Well I'm not doing badly. Just starting out actually but I am out of the red. What do you do?" We pulled into the parking lot and went inside and got in line. It wasn't very long. Not many people work in Shermer and at that time of the morning most would be in the city buying their caffeine fix not here. We ordered and then took a seat in a booth near the back. "You didn't answer what is the great Andrew Clark up to? Let me guess. You are coaching the Olympic wrestling team."

"No nothing like that actually. I'm a lawyer."

"A lawyer?" She looked surprised.

"Why? Don't think I could be a lawyer?" I asked jokingly.

"Its not that it's...it's...wow. I knew you loved wrestling I just assumed that you would be a PE Coach or athletic director or ...I don't know announcing WWF every Friday night."

I laughed. "Yeah, a lot of people expected that from me. I went and decided to do something that I was interested in; something that wasn't expected of me instead. Now here I am fresh out of law school, bar exam completed and looking for a job.

"That is so amazing. What did your dad say?"

"That's the million dollar question huh?" I took a sip of my cappuccino before beginning.

"If you don't want to tell me..."

"No, its fine I just need to take a second. He was disappointed, to put it mildly."

"Didn't take it well then."

"He didn't take my knee going out well. He didn't take my losing my ride well. He didn't take any decision I made afterwards well either." As I looked at her my mind made a connection. "Wait a second you don't just own your own boutique do you? You design all the clothes you sell yourself."

"That's right. Claire's Closet."

"I don't know why I didn't put that together before. My ex-girlfriend Dina raved about your clothes."

She laughed, "Yeah my mom was upset that I didn't find a rich doctor and get married but opened my own business instead. She was a bit embarrassed that I went to school and didn't get my MRS degree but came away with a BA in business administration. I just didn't want to turn out like my mom. She went to school to get a husband and she did. Then she dropped out and lived off my dad's income spending her days shopping and going to play bridge with her friends. I guess I wanted more than that, you know? "

"Yeah I know. I realized once I injured my knee and couldn't wrestle it wasn't an end. It was an opportunity to do what I wanted with my life. I wasn't even sure about what I wanted I just found what I was interested in and did it."

"And now you're a lawyer."

"Yep."

We sat a while in silence. The gray overcast sky opened up into a quiet rainy drizzle. "Do you ever think about them?"

"About who?" I asked even though I was pretty sure I knew who she was talking about.

"The Breakfast Club."

"Honestly?"

"Honestly."

"I hadn't until I came back home."

"Same here. I almost hit you because I wasn't paying attention. That was the corner where John and I had a big fight. My mind was on that." She stared downward into her coffee and played with a plastic stirrer. I debated whether or not I should tell her about the yams.

"I wonder what happened to him." I guessed that was my cue.

"I saw him yesterday."

Claire looked up at me. I could tell she wasn't sure whether or not she wanted me to go on. Finally she asked, "So how is he?"

"Seems to be pretty good. Different than what I remember him being like. We didn't talk that long. He is the manager of the Jewel over on Mondale Boulevard."

"It good that he made something out of himself."

"You okay?"

"Ever think about soul mates?" That was an out of the blue question if I ever heard one.

"No. Never given it much thought." I wasn't sure if this was a good place to go to but if we eight years ago could open ourselves up to one another and we were virtually strangers then why not now?

"I think John was mine. Funny huh? Every guy I have ever dated I compare to John Bender and I have dated lots. Usually only go out with them once or twice because they don't live up to being what I want them to be."

"Bender?"

"Bender."

Once again silence settled between us. "I'm only going to be in town until Monday. What do you think about getting dinner Saturday evening?" She looked surprised that I asked but part of me had a plan. I just needed to see if I could work it out. If not she and I would have a nice dinner Sunday evening and nothing would change. "So what do you think? We could meet up at say eight o'clock at the Mikado for sushi?"

_Sushi?_

_Rice, raw fish, and seaweed._  
_You won't accept a guy's tongue in your mouth, and you're going to eat that?_

_Can I eat?_

_I don't know. Give it a try_.

"You don't eat sushi. You looked as disgusted as Bender did when I told you guys what it was."

"I didn't used to eat sushi but I came across a sushi bar in Evanston and decided to try it. Not my favorite but still pretty good. I'm a fan of wasabi."

"Okay you're on. Saturday at 8. How about I pick you up?"

"No, let's meet there."

"Sounds good. Done with your coffee?"

I nodded. "Shall I drive you somewhere or do you want to jog." I looked out at the rain and agreed to a ride back to my mom's. I just hoped that what I was planning would be possible.


	4. Charity pick up

A/N I'm not sure when the next time I will update this will be. But Ill try to get it done before next week. Hope you all like this chapter. I own none of the Breakfast Club characters.

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After Claire dropped me off at my mom's I ran upstairs and took a shower. The warm water felt good on my aching knee. I knew I wasn't supposed to run without my knee being wrapped but I didn't have the bandage with me. I didn't think about packing it when I threw my things in my small bag when I got the call about my dad. If I didn't run though I felt flabby and unfit.

As I got out of the shower, dried off and got dressed I thought about Claire. I guess I was a little surprised that she was single and still interested in John Bender. Their relationship during the remainder of high school was less than idyllic. They often fought over little things that blew up into bigger things. She kept him stable for a long time as things began getting worse and worse, if that was possible, with his dad. We all knew he did pot and we took that as a part of who he was, but once his dad beat his mom so bad she was put in the hospital he started doing harder drugs. I heard about it from Claire back then. She came to my house in tears late one night because she found white powder in a baggie in his pocket. We hadn't really talked since that Saturday's detention. As far as I knew she and John kept their relationship pretty quiet. She said she could trust me and told me about how John felt guilty that he wasn't able to protect his mom because he had been out with Claire that night. I didn't know what to say to her. I just held her while she cried.

When she said that the corner at which we ran into each other today was where she and John had a big fight I didn't put two and two together. I'm sure she meant the discussion she was determined to have with him after she left my place that night. Two days later Bender disappeared from school. She came up to me and told me she was worried about him. A month later we graduated and went our separate ways. I didn't even remember how bad he got until just now. That makes seeing him a productive citizen mean even more.

I went downstairs to the smell of waffles and hot coffee. "Morning Andrew," mom said as she came up and kissed me on the cheek. "I hope I made enough food."

I looked at the mountain of waffles and the large bowl of fruit salad on the table and the skillet filled with sausages. "That will be more than enough, Mom. Expecting an army?"

"That used to be barely enough to feed you, your brother and your father. It will take some time for me to get used to the fact I will only have to cook for myself."

"Guess I did eat like a horse back then."

"You needed your nutrition. You may have eaten a lot but you were never a big boy Andrew. You burnt off every calorie you ate wrestling." She paused and looked at me a moment. "Did you hate it?"

"Eating?"

"Wrestling."

I wondered what I should say and she knew I was because she said, "I'm not your father. I'd like to hear the truth. I remember asking you before. I don't remember when but your father jumped in and said that of course you did. Sometimes I worried that you were being pressured into something that you didn't want to do and that Jack was living through you."

"I liked wrestling." She looked at me and gave me the look she would give us boys when we would try to lie about cleaning our rooms. "I did. It just after awhile it was all about winning and not about having fun." I told her through bites of breakfast.

"Your father said you were happy that you were injured."

"I wasn't. Not really. I was glad I didn't have to wrestle anymore but I it was like having a limb amputated. It was such a big part of my life."

Oh my look at the time. It's 10:00. I've got to run out and do some errands. I'm sure you will be okay here. I promise I will be back before the charity lady gets here." I couldn't be that late could it. I had been daydreaming in the shower for at least an hour. I made a mental note to leave my mom some money for the water bill.

"Anything I can help with?"

"You are a sweet boy Andrew but no. Just a few basic things I need to do." With that she grabbed her purse, and car keys and left.

I tried watching TV. I never watched morning TV on a weekday before. I was always busy with classes and working. Disappointing was the least harsh thing I could say about the selection as I flipped through the channels past talk shows, Teletubbies, court reenactment dramas; which were no where near like the real thing, and home shopping. Giving up I poured myself another cup of coffee and headed upstairs. I figured since the charity woman would be coming I could go through my old stuff and see what I could get rid of.

Sitting on the floor I went through what I called my junk drawer. It was the bottom drawer of my dresser but odds and ends were in there that didn't really belong anywhere else. Most of the stuff was old school papers I had written, old school newspapers most of which had a picture of me pinning some guy from a rival school during a meet, and various other reminders of my school days. At the bottom once I had thrown out most of what was in it. I figured if I hadn't needed to look at that stuff in the last six years I didn't need it. All the newspaper articles were just copies. My dad had huge scrap books with the same articles in them. At the very bottom of the drawer was my senior year book.

I opened it carefully and the cover creaked from disuse. A dried carnation fell out; my boutonniere from prom. With that was a picture of me and Cindy Mitchum. She was a junior varsity cheerleader, a sophomore I think but my friends convinced me I had to go to the prom and set me up with her. She was nice but we never talked at all until that night at prom. I wonder if she had a good time or could she tell she wasn't who I wanted to be there with.

I flipped through the book some more. I came across lots of pictures of Claire. She was prom queen and I was voted king. She was in pictures for the French Club, Pep club, and Drama club, and Fashion club. I saw Brian Johnson and wondered what became of him. Out of all the five of us I always assumed that he would be the most successful. Just for the heck I flipped to the academic clubs and there he was front and center in the pictures for the Physics, Math and Latin club. There weren't any of Bender. Unless the one of him flicking off the camera in one of the pictures of the shop class counted. Allison. She was in the art club picture and didn't look like she wanted to be there. Of them all I wondered mostly what had become of her.

The doorbell rang. And the door bell rang again. In my dream however it was a giant mosquito which I was trying to kill as it tried to pierce my heart with its mouth. One more time the bell rang. That time I woke up, panting from my fight with the mosquito. "Coming!" I yelled as I straighted my t-shirt and ran my fingers through my hair trying to make it lay down. Realizing I was drooling in my sleep I wiped my chin on the bottom of my shirt and hoped it wasn't that obvious. The bell rang one more time and I lunged for the door opening it to see the back of a young woman walking down the stairs and approaching a black VW beetle in the drive. I was debating whether to call her back but the car had the name of the organization mom had mentioned on the side. Checking my watch I was surprised to see it was 1:45. "Can I help you?" I asked the woman loudly to get her attention as she opened the car door.

As she turned around my heart stopped. "I'm here to pick up a donation to the Fairfield House." Her voice was so familiar since I dreamed about it consistently over the last years. It was Allison.

Her eyes met mine and I know I saw a flash of recognition but she was professional. She stepped forward and offered me her hand. "Allison Reynolds." I wanted to scream, "It's me it Andy. But I didn't. If she was going to play strangers then I would too. "Andrew Clark."

"Nice to meet you." We stood there for a moment. Then she said, "The donation?"

"Oh yeah, come on in." I lead the way up the three steps and held the front door open for her. She looked good. Her hair was longer than she wore it in school and her make up was softer, more like the way Claire did it for her than how she typically wore it in high school. It gave her a very young look. "Uh... the bags of stuff are upstairs. Ill just go get them. Have a seat."

As she sat on the sofa I went to get the bag. I caught a glimpse of myself in the hallway mirror. I looked terrible. I had newsprint on the side of my face from one of the newspapers which served as a pillow during my nap, my white t-shirt was smudged from dust, and my hair still hadn't laid down flat. Quickly I ran into the bathroom and washed my face, combed my hair and then changed my shit. Then I grabbed the first bag to bring it downstairs.

As I neared the top step I heard my mom come in. "Andrew, are you home?"

Before I could answer she must have seen Allison. "Oh hello. You must be Ms. Reynolds. I'm Olivia Clark."

"Nice to meet you."

"I'm sorry I'm late. I didn't think you would be here on time. I just had a few errands to take care of. Did my son show you proper hospitality? Would you like something to drink?"

Bringing the first bag into the room I could see Allison smile. She was so pretty when she smiled. "Andrew, have you seen to Ms. Reynolds?" Leave it to my mom to embarrass me.

"I'm fine thank you Mrs. Clark."

"Olivia please."

"Olivia. How are you doing since your husband's passing?"

"I wasn't doing very well at first but Andrew has been wonderful with helping me. Let me put some tea on and we can talk in the kitchen. If you don't mind that is. Andy, why don't you take that out to Ms. Reynolds's car?"

"Please call me Allison."

I took the bags out to her car and she and my mother disappeared into the kitchen. I guess they wanted privacy to discuss whatever she wanted to tell Allison that she couldn't tell me. Part of me was resentful that my mom could sit there and talk with her yet part of me was also resentful that my mom could talk to her and not to me. They were in there for almost two hours. I paced back and forth trying to relax. Finally they came out and shook hands.

"I was nice meeting you Olivia. I'm looking forward to our next appointment."

"I'm looking forward to it as well. I think my son could benefit from talking to you as well. Do you have time to talk to him today? I know I should have mentioned it sooner but with everything it slipped my mind."

"I don't actually," she said. Then she looked at me. "But if you would like to make an appointment I could see you on Friday. If not you can come down to the Fairfield House at anytime and anyone of our counselors can talk to you."

"Friday is fine."

"One o'clock?" I nodded. "Then I'll see you then. Have a nice day." And with that she was gone.

"She was a wonderful counselor. I feel so much better already. She suggests that I meet with her a few more times but thinks I am handling your fathers passing very well. And she is such a pretty thing isn't she?"

I looked at my mom, "I didn't notice."

"Had you not noticed any harder I would be picking your eyeballs up off the floor." With that my mom headed back into the kitchen.


	5. Advice

A/N Hi again. I wasn't going to write today but had an idea and decided to get it out before I exploded. That would have been messy. So here it is. I'm probably dating myself with some of the terms but we will see. I don't know if remedial courses in HS today have the same slang name or not. Oh well it's what we called them back in the good old days.

* * *

Seeing Allison again really threw me for a loop. When my mom told me that a woman from some charity organization would be coming over I had it in my mind she would be an older woman in sensible shoes instead it was the one girl was absolutely crazy about in school but chose to ignore. It seemed that she was getting back at me by ignoring me now.

After that Saturday detention I was psyched. I met a girl who not only took the time to listen to and understand me but was beautiful too. My dad gave me a hard time and a lecture on the way home. I let it go in one ear and out the other. I was in love right? I spent the evening and the next day planning how I would waltz right up to her kiss her and introduce her to all my friends. If they liked her good and if not it was their problem. At least that was the plan. Real life turned out to be a little different.

I left the house Monday morning early avoiding my dad. I knew once he saw the bare spot on my jacket where my championships patch was once sewn he would get on my case again. I had already agreed to get it back from Allison. Not that I wanted to take it back from her but I knew the old man wouldn't give me any peace if I didn't. At least it gave me a reason to talk to her.

The day passed quickly and I didn't see her. The only one I saw was Claire and that was because we had Creative writing together sixth period. Brian was a sophomore and moved in a completely different orbit than I did. Bender? Senior too but I didn't see him. He was in remedial courses. Not because he was dumb. I realized that Saturday John Bender was far from dumb had he applied himself he could have been considered as brainy as Brian. But he was in remedial aka "boom boom" classes because he didn't apply himself. Allison? I looked for her at lunch because she as a junior had lunch the same time that the seniors did. I didn't see her.

"Who you looking for Andy?" asked TJ my best friend.

"Huh?"

"I asked you who you are looking for. You keep scanning the loser tables and drifting out of the convo."

"No one."

He snorted a laugh. "Yeah right, if you need help beating up one of the geeks I'm more than willing to help you out."

"What a jerk" I thought. I was that bad just last week. "Really," I said out loud, "I'm not looking for anyone." I wracked my brain trying to remember if I had seen her at lunch before and if so where was she. A pair of hands covered my eyes and I heard a sugary female voice say, "Guess who." It was easy to guess because of the cloud of Love's Baby Soft perfume that surrounded me and made my head throb but I played along, "Angie?"

"No."

"Tina?" "No, but I'll give you one more try," the girl giggled. "Heather?" She let go of my eyes and bouncing and clapping she moved around in front of me and kissed me on the cheek. Then with a fake pout she said, "I was starting to get worried that you really didn't know who I was."

I gave her a weak smile. It was the first time I really saw her. Heather Willis was pretty and ran with Claire's crowd. Like the rest of the princesses she was a dream that had stepped out the pages of Seventeen Magazine everything about her was perfect from her fingernails to the clothes to her hair. Now looking back I realize that she like a dream had no substance. My dad frowned on me having a steady girlfriend but he was okay with casual dating so the depth of my relationship with Heather was pretty much a secret to everyone so we weren't known around school as a couple or anything., although we would get pretty hot and heavy at times. I supposed that no one really knowing about our relationship would make it easier to let her go so I could be with Allison.

"Hey look over there." One of the guys at the table said. We all looked. "Is that a new girl?" It was Allison. She was wearing a pale blue sweater and a denim skirt. Her hair was pulled back and it looked as though she tried to do her make-up the way Claire showed her. "She's hot."

TJ craned his neck, "Not bad. Not bad at all."

"Ewwww, what is with you guys? That is the bizzaro girl. You know the chick that lives in the counselor's office?" With Heather's identification of Allison I watched the horny smiles leave their faces. Then they started backpedaling and saying things like, "Must be the distance. Better from far away than close up," and, "the fumes from the slop they serve here are causing hallucinations." They busted out laughing. TJ hopped down, "I'll be right back man."

"Where are you going?"

"To have a little fun," he said and took off across the lunchroom.

"Shit," I said and jumped off the table where I was sitting and followed but got cut off by the crowds.

"Excuse me," I heard him say to her. She turned and looked at him. "You must be new you look great." I was happy that she had a doubtful look. The worst thing she could have done was let down her guard.

"What do you want" Allison asked.

"Would you like to go out with me sometime?" I noticed that the rest of the guys and Heather were behind me also watching. Some of them were snickering. It wouldn't matter what she said at this point, no matter what he did he would make her look like an idiot. I wanted to tell her to run and run fast but didn't seem real. The logical, civilized part of me felt detached and far away from the whole thing; however the illogical, primitive part of me that taped Larry Lester's butt cheeks together was there. "So what do you say," he asked and actually sounded sincere but I had been friends with TJ since fourth grade and the look in his eyes was anything but sincere.

"I don't think so," she replied and started to turn away.

"Well I don't think you can fool us. You are just as disgusting as you always were freak. Think you the fact you aren't dressed like a bag lady is going to make any guy want to go out with you?" She turned and her eyes met mine as I stood there amongst the others laughing with them at her expense.

Then Heather stepped forward and sloshed her with perfume. "To cover the smell," she laughed. Then she kissed me and my logical self came back. I didn't want Heather Miller to kiss me. "What the hell have we just done?" The logical part screamed at the primitive. There was no reply just shame. More shame than I had ever felt before as I watched emotions flash across Allison's lovely face changing from incredulous, to hate, and sadness. She ran from the room her chucks slapping against the linoleum covered floor. Breaking away from Heather and the guys I went after her, "Allison! Allison, wait!" She didn't stop. She kept on running right out of the school. I would have followed her but I didn't know where she lived. I went to the library. I needed time to be alone, away from my so called friends.

Now Allison was back in my life, kind of. Was I getting a second chance? I needed someone to talk to and while I loved my mom she wasn't the best choice. At the coffee shop I told Claire we would go out for Sushi on Saturday but I needed to talk to her now. Too bad I didn't know how to reach her. Was she staying here in Shermer or was she back in the city? Deciding to take a chance I picked up the white pages and found her parents address and phone number. Then I grabbed my keys, hopped into the car, and hoped I could find her house.

About a half hour later I arrived at the large white house on Poplar Avenue which Claire's parents owned and pulled into the drive parking behind the red jaguar which she was driving earlier. When I reached the door I stopped hand held up getting ready to knock but I hesitated.

"Andy?" Claire asked as she opened the door. "What are you doing here?"

"Hi. I...Never mind I'll just see you Saturday." I said and started to turn to go back to my car.

"It must have been important or you wouldn't have driven all the way over here. Come on in." She opened the door wider and stepped aside so I could enter. It was the first time I had ever been inside of her house.

"Nice."

"Yeah it's not bad I guess. I bit like a museum though. Come on into the den." She led the way into a room that had deep red walls, white furniture and, African styled knickknacks and art. I took it all in. It was certainly different from where I grew up which was more cozy.

She noted me looking around. "My mom and husband number 3 decided to do this room like this after they had their honeymoon safari. At first I didn't like it but it grew on me."

"Husband number 3?"

"She and my dad finally divorced...it must have been about three months after graduation. It turned out she had another guy already lined up. He was a rich widower from the country club and a good friend of dad's. For a long time I didn't talk to her because I felt she sabotaged their marriage just to be with that guy. Their marriage didn't last long. It was only six months and she swore off men. That was until she met husband number 3, better known as Ted on a cruise she convinced me to take with her."

"So do you like him?"

"He's pretty cool and he does make her happier than dad did. Of course after the second guy anyone would look like a prize. So can I get you something to drink?"

"No thanks. I'm okay."

She sat down in the fluffy armchair one leg curled under her. She wasn't pressuring me but she was waiting for me to begin. I just didn't know where to start. "So what happened? Your mom is okay isn't she?"

"Oh she is fine even better since her bereavement counseling session today."

"Did something happen then?"

"You could say that."

"Come on, Andy. You come here looking like you've seen a ghost and then its like pulling teeth to get you to talk about it." She stood and walked across the room and got a pack of cigarettes out of a desk drawer and lit up. "I'm sorry do you mind?"

I did but it was her house and if her parents didn't mind her smoking I certainly wouldn't complain. "No go ahead."

"It's a bad habit I picked up from John. I've given up trying to quit. Last time I did I gained like fifteen pounds so I decided being fat is worse than the habit." She curled back up in the chair and flicked the cigarette into the ashtray on the end table.

"God. I don't know where to begin. I don't know how she could mess me up like this."

"Who?"

I swallowed and took a breath. "Allison."

"Allison Reynolds?"

"Yeah. I hadn't really given her much thought since leaving Shermer. Then since I got word about my dad's heart attack and had to come back here I've thought about her a lot and about how I fucked that whole situation."

"You were a kid. We all were. I never broke away from my friends and told them I was going with John. Maybe if I had things would have worked out differently. I could have helped him. Things with you and Allison didn't work out but did you ever think that could be for the best?"

"Hard to think that things turned out for the best when she looks at you as though she has no idea who you are even though you know perfectly well she remembers you too." I ran my hand through my hair, a nervous reaction.

Clair uncurled, put her feet on the floor and leaned over elbows on her knees, "Whoa hold on a second Andy, you saw her?" I told her how my morning progressed from when she dropped me off but not mentioning the counseling session for which I had an appointment. "And she acted like she didn't know you?" I nodded. "Wow."

"How do you apologize for something like what I did after so much time? How do I let her know that I regret that more than I ever regretted what I did to Larry Lester? She trusted me and..."

"And you hurt her. It happens."

"Have you forgiven, John?"

"Had to so I could keep on with my life. He just vanished and broke my heart."

"But would you have had he come back knocked on your door and said, 'I'm sorry for hurting you,'?"

She thought about the question. "Depends," she said as she put out the cigarette.

"On what?"

"A lot of factors."

"Like what?"

"Like if he was sincere, like if he had his act together, like if I was still mad or not because if I was still mad he could be completely sincere and clean and sober and it not mean a thing to me if I was still pissed off. But what I would do with John Bender is not the question the question is what are you going to do about Allison."

"Have her counsel me on Friday." When I told her that, Claire's chin hit the floor.

"Tell me you didn't just say that."

"Why? My mom was there, Allison pretended not to know me and it sort of happened before I had a chance to think about it. No, it's probably not a good idea but right at that moment it was the only way I could think of to see her again."


	6. A visit with Bender

A/N Well this was quick. Hope you like it. This chapter gives maybe a little more insight into the future John Bender. I wasn't sure where this was going for a long time but suddenly was inspired. Thanks to everyone for their reviews. BTW If you read yesterdays chaper of "The Weekend is over" (my other fic) called "Life a Big Bri's house", please check and see if you read the correct version. Stupid didn't replace it right away yesterday. Now on to the story...

* * *

Talking to Claire really helped me. It didn't put things in perspective but it helped me to forgive myself a little for my behavior back then. Maybe if I could forgive myself a little bit then maybe Allison could forgive me too. I wasn't going to hold my breath. There were many times in the days that followed "THE INCIDENT" that I put myself in her place and it wasn't where I would wish anyone to be. Larry Lester would always have the physical scars of what I did to him but Allison would have the mental ones. Larry was neither a friend nor an enemy. I never talked to him or made fun of him before. He was just there. He knew I had no feelings about him. No, I take that back I did. I told the Breakfast Club that I attacked him because he was weak. That was part of it. Later on I realized at the moment I attacked him for not knowing the pressure I did. I hated him because he had the ability to love wrestling in a way I couldn't thanks to my father. 

Allison on the other hand I did love or had the potential to love. Unlike Larry I thought about her. I kissed her. I gave her the impression that she meant something to me, led her to put her faith in that and then hurt her. Who was the weak one then? It was certainly not her and certainly not Larry Lester. I had become what I despised.

I didn't know if I could ever make amends with Allison. Maybe I wasn't meant to. Perhaps all I was supposed to do with this opportunity that was presenting itself was just simply say, "I am sorry." It was something I never had the opportunity to do before.

After leaving Claire I drove across town to the Jewel store where John Bender was the manager. I still had an idea about Saturday night. I knew Claire and although I told her where he worked she would never go there herself. And if I told John about Claire he would never go to see her. Stubborn pride was their biggest problem. Neither was willing to give an inch. It was that way from the beginning.

I pulled into the parking lot and got out of the car. I wasn't sure if I was doing the right thing but it felt right to me. Once I was inside I went to the customer service counter and asked to speak to the manager. The girl working there didn't seem to believe that there was nothing wrong but I wanted to speak to Mr. Bender anyway. She reluctantly paged him over the PA system, "Mr. Bender please report to the customer service desk." I noticed as I stood there waiting, a smiling picture of John on the wall behind the counter. His hair was short and he was wearing a tie. I had to smile at the thought of John Bender wearing a tie. Okay Grocery store manager wasn't the most glamorous job but it made me wonder what Mr. Vernon would say if he could see John today.

"Candy, what seems to be the problem," he asked the girl behind the counter.

"Sir this man came in and insisted on talking to you. He wouldn't say what the problem was."

He turned, saw me and smiled. "Relax, Candy. I'll take care of it." She nodded and went back to her job. "So Andy, what brings you around these parts? The canned yams not meet your satisfaction?"

"They were pretty good actually once my mom fixed them up a bit. Actually I decided to come by and see you. Would have called but we didn't exactly swap phone numbers the other day."

"Come on back to my office. We can converse there."

In silence we walked back to the back of the store. "Mr. Bender," called an old woman with silver gray hair, "I just wanted to thank you for holding that pork roast for me."

"My pleasure, Mrs. Abercrombie." He said and kissed her hand. My eyebrow went up in disbelief. As we started walking again he said, "She's a nice old lady. What?"

"I don't know you're just…"

"Just?"

"Just…well different."

We walked through a plastic covered doorway between the dairy and the lunchmeat and into the storeroom. There was a sign on the door on the right that said, "John Bender, District Manager."

"Six years and lots of therapy," he said as he opened the door. "Take a seat." He sat behind the desk and I in a ratty sixty style office chair upholstered in worn gray vinyl.

We looked at each other a moment. The silence was deafening and I wasn't sure anymore why I had come. "So what can I do for you Andrew?"

"I'm not really sure. I guess I just wanted to talk and well you are here."

"How you doin' since your old man's…." he searched for an appropriate word, "funeral."

"It's going. Well I'm going, or will be to bereavement counseling tomorrow. Have you been?" I asked the question remembering that he had said before that his dad passed away.

"No. By that time I had enough with therapy and interventions that it was the last thing I wanted to do. I know that Claire told you about my problem in high school. Funny how we never talked to each other after that Saturday yet we served as each others confessional priest."

"Who did you confide in?"

He smirked. "I'd rather not get into that. So did you and Claire ever get together?"

What? The question surprised me and made me angry. "Claire? Me?" Then my anger at the question vanished and I laughed. "Claire was a friend. I was never interested in her that way. Once we graduated I never saw her. You?"

"I watched her and Brian." I must have given him a funny look. "Hey the kid needed someone to watch out for him. Book smart but not street smart."

"So what happened to Brian?"

"I lost track of him after he went off east to some big name school out there. Probably became National Geographic cover boy."

"Don't take what I am about to ask the wrong way but how could think you could take care of Brian if you couldn't take care of yourself?"

"Touché. I didn't really. It just gave me the feeling of having some kind of control in my life. That was my main problem with Claire. I wanted to have control over her because I had no control, things…" Then he stopped. "Nah no point in dwelling back there. It wasn't a good time."

"Well you haven't done badly. District manager huh? I was under the impression the other day you just managed this one store."

He beamed with pride. I don't recall the John Bender I knew ever beaming with pride. "It's not much compared to you but compared to where I almost ended up. Im happy with it."

Then I noticed a picture on his desk of a little girl with big green eyes and wavy dark brown hair. "Who is she?"

"Oh, that is Madeline. My daughter."

Okay there goes my plan. "You're married?"

"No. Her mother and I …well it was a one night stand. I was in a bad place, she was there. Don't look at me like that I didn't take advantage of her. It was her idea actually. It was good for the time. We stayed friends and she lives with her mom. I have her on weekends and after work. It's a good arrangement and Maddie never wants for anything."

"How old is she?"

"Four. What about you? Are you seeing anyone?"

"Shit! I was so involved with the funeral and my mom I forgot about Jessica. She had no idea where I am." I couldn't believe that I was so stupid.

"Guess you two aren't that serious yet if you have been gone almost a week and she hasn't sicced the cops on you as a missing person."

I didn't reply. I had been thinking about asking Jessica to marry me, once I found a job at a good law firm that is. Then there was Allison? How could I ask Jessica to marry me until I took care of things with her? How could I ask her to marry me if I forgot about her so quickly? Bender's simple question of "are you seeing anyone" had just made me question everything.

"No, I guess we aren't. I looked at my watch. Listen I should get back and check on my mom but what would you think of meeting up Saturday night for dinner?"

"Are you asking me out on a date?"

"No, dinner."

"Where?"

"Mikado for Sushi?"

He busted out laughing. "Sushi?"

"Yeah rice, raw fish and seaweed."

"Sure Ill give it a shot. Why not? Oh I do have Maddie this weekend. Mind if I bring her along?

"Bring her I'd love to meet her."

"Just so you know she is a lot like her mom."

"Is that bad?"

He just smiled. "See you Saturday, Sporto."


	7. Sons

A/N Thank you TWBasketcase, DarkoBender, Jenifer, santafelover and everyone else who reviewed the last chapter. That one and this one are setting things up to come so bear with me a bit. Next up Andy and Allison.

* * *

It had been a long day. I went for a run, almost got hit by Claire, had coffee with her, and went home. Then I fell asleep, the door bell rang, I opened the door and found Allison standing there and she pretended not to know me. Then I went and saw Claire, and saw Bender. I'm not sure if it was a good day or not, but it was exhausting. After the day I had I was surprised to come back home and see a familiar Ford Escort in the drive. Jeff was there. 

It made me angry that now Jeff comes. He was there at the funeral but he and his family left immediately afterward. He came by the hospital once and he lived closer to the family than I did yet I dropped everything to be there for mom. I know he has his wife and sons Mark and Jake but since he was dad's favorite you think he would have right there. "Mom, I'm home." I called as I entered and hung my jacket on the coat tree near the door.

"Uncle Andy, Uncle Andy," called the boys as they ran into the living room and threw themselves at me each attaching to one of my legs.

"Hey guys, what are you up to?"

"We're bored," whined Mark who was the oldest.

"Yeah bored. Will you play with us?"

"Sure just give me a second to say 'hi' to Grandma and your parents and we can play Candyland." Mom kept a couple of our old board games that Jeff and I had as children. They came in handy when the boys were over. "Where are they?"

"They are in Grandpa's office," said Jake.

"They don't want to be disturbed."

"I don't think they will mind just for a minute." I reached up and took the game down off the top of the china cabinet and handed it to Mark. "You guys set it up and I'll be right back. No cheating and stacking the cards." They looked at me innocently as if they would never do that but I knew the two often tried cheating at games even though they were basically good kids. I headed back towards dad's old office. It was more like a TV room but he did balance the books for the hardware store in there too. The door was closed and as I reached to knock I heard Jeff say, "But you know it will be easier in the long run."

"Jeff, I'm only two years away from turning sixty and while you mean well I am happy right where I am."

"But Mother," said Elaine in her patronizing way. "You will be with people and not cooped up here in this big stuffy old house."

"I don't want to sell it."

"You wouldn't have to, Ma. Elaine and I could live here and take care of it."

I couldn't believe that they would stoop so low. Like Mom told them she was fifty eight and she was strong and healthy, way too young to be put in a home or wherever they wanted her to go to. Then to try to take the house like that, it was too much. "So why would you and Elaine need to take care of the house," I asked opening the door. Jeff looked sheepishly at the floor but Elaine didn't back down.

"Andrew, it's much too big for your mother to go on living in alone so we thought that she might enjoy living in a senior residence better."

I looked a Jeff and he didn't meet my eyes. "Maybe, Elaine, you should give her a chance to live here alone before you pass judgment on her ability to do so. It's been a week; I've been with her the whole time."

"Well who will take care of her when you are not here; Andrew? We certainly can't drive out here from the south 'burbs everyday."

"She doesn't need someone here everyday. Do you, Mom?"

"I…" she began but Jeff jumped in and cut her off.

"Who the hell do you think you are, Andy? Think you are something now you are a hot shot lawyer? Where have you been? You quit coming home and now you think you have a right to tell us how to take care of Ma? I don't think so."

"Who the hell do I think I am? I think I'm the son who is actually concerned for her well being and not the one who is trying to steal her house out from under her." Jeff always had a short fuse. He pulled back to hit me and as he threw the punch I grabbed him. It had been awhile since I wrestled but I still knew how. As I began my take down he purposely went for my knee. Luckily I saw it coming and adjusted. He hit the floor. I held him there. "Now if you want to talk about this without getting violent we can do that. I'll let you up. But if you just want to attack again. I'll hold you here longer. It's your choice."

He didn't say anything. Elaine however piped up, "He will behave. Let him up, Andrew."

I let him up and he brushed himself off and I heard her say something to him in a low voice about me being a barbarian. I never knew what he saw in her. "Maybe Mother and I should go into the kitchen while you boys discuss this," she said.

I was about to protest when Mom said, "That is a good idea." It made me mad that she didn't seem to want to decide what to do with her own life but rather leave it to us, her sons to do. Then I thought about it again and it came to me that it wasn't really that surprising. Dad had made all the decisions with little or no input from her. He rarely asked for her opinion at all.

"So Andrew man to man what do you want?"

I didn't understand the question at first. "What do you mean what do I want?"

"You want the house?"

"No, I don't want the house. I want our mother to have the house. She worked as a slave in it for the last 30 years .She is entitled to it."

"She doesn't need it. Elaine and I do. The boys could use a big yard to play in."

"What happened to your place?"

"Our apartment in Blue Island? It looks like I'll be losing my job and won't be able to afford it."

"And you think Mom will be able to afford a senior residence?"

"We will pay for it."

"Let me get this straight. You are being laid off so you can't afford your apartment. You want mom to give you her house and move into an old folk's home and you can afford that?" He nodded. "Just where are you putting her the cheapest place possible?" He said nothing but the guilty expression on his face said it all. "If you tell me you signed any documents committing her to that place I will first beat the crap out of you and second get a court order against you."

He was pretty okay until I said the words "court order". "You little prick! You ignored mom for years. Didn't come to see her because you thought Dad was too hard on you and now you are playing the good son. Well fuck you! You just try for a court order. What we are doing is in Ma's best interest because we care about her and trying to help her out in a way that will also help us" I didn't say anything I just glared at him. "You know, Andy, dad was right. You have no sense of family."

"Why because I'm not controlling? Then again in your family it looks like Elaine is the one who has you by the balls," I replied doing my best not to raise my voice and upset Mom. He stormed out of the office and headed to the kitchen where Mom, Elaine and the boys were playing Candyland.

"That's it grab your jackets. We're out of here."

"What happened," asked Elaine? He didn't answer her just grabbed the boys' coats off the hooks and handed them to her.

"Dad, we don't wanna go yet .We're playing a game with Grandma," they whined. He shot them a look that said, "Be quiet" and they were. Elaine helped them in to their coats and they left without a word to either me or Mom. Exhausted I sat on the chair next to her and put my head on the table. She stroked my hair without saying a word.

I woke the next morning still sitting in the chair. My back and neck were stiff from the uncomfortable position. I stood and my spine popped back into alignment. In the quite of the kitchen it sounded like popcorn. "Damn," I quietly exclaimed and started up a pot of coffee. Wondering what time it was I looked at the microwave. It read 11:30. It was much later than I thought. "I wonder why mom didn't wake me." I thought out loud.

"I didn't wake you because you were so tired I left you where you were," she said walking into the doorway with a box of Dink-E Doughnuts, fresh flowers, and a newspaper. "I thought doughnuts would be a nice breakfast."

"You never let us eat doughnuts."

"No, but I didn't want to make a lot of noise in the kitchen. I like the chocolate coconut ones. Moderation is the key."

"So what better excuse than a sleeping son in your kitchen?"

"Right." We laughed together and it felt good.

We spent the next hour just talking about how the neighborhood had changed while drinking coffee and eating doughnuts. We purposely avoided talking about what happened with Jeff and Elaine, but I knew it would have to be discussed eventually. Then the phone rang. "I'll get it." She said and answered the phone in the hallway. "Hello? Yes, yes he is here. May I tell him who is calling?" I heard that much and moved to stand next to her in the hall. Slipping her hand over the mouthpiece she told me it was Jessica. I took the phone and thanked her. She just smiled.

"Jessi…" I began but was cut off by her angry tirade. Finally I got a chance to speak. "Yes I know I am an ass for not calling. I was going to call last night but things got a little out of control here." I apologized for not letting her know. And she accepted it but was mad that I had shut her out by not telling her about the funeral. We ended the conversation on a melancholy note. I wasn't sure if we were still together or would get back together if we weren't. Only time would tell.


	8. Bereavement? nah Couples Therapy

A/N Thanks again for all the great reviews and for being patient with the filler chapters that move the plot a bit. I know they can be dull. Next Chapter I should be the Sushi date but let's see what happens.

* * *

It was nice sitting there with mom talking, eating doughnuts and drinking coffee. Jeff had been right about one thing last night I neglected her by staying away so long. Still as I looked at her I became even more convinced that the senior home or whatever the hell it was called wasn't the right place for her. She was still young. Her hair had grayed a bit but her mind was active and as strong as ever. 

Then out of the blue she asked me, "You aren't going to meet Ms. Reynolds looking like that are you?"

"Huh?"

"Ms. Reynolds the bereavement counselor is coming today. Wasn't your appointment for one o'clock?"

"Shit!" I exclaimed turning to check the microwave. The time was twelve thirty.

"Andy, watch your language."

"Sorry, mom," I said kissing her on top of the head. "I better go get ready." I rinsed the crumbs off my plate and laid it in the sink. Then I went up stairs shaved and showered quickly. Once I got out and dried off I stood in front of my closet trying to figure out what to wear. Jeans or khakis? Button-up or t-shirt? If I wear a button up do I need a tie? Then I stopped and laughed at myself. I was being ridiculous. It wasn't as if I was a school boy getting ready for his first date. I was a grown man. What did I know about Allison anyway? John Bender had changed a lot in the last six years so as far as I knew Allison had as well. On the other hand Claire hadn't changed that much at all maybe she was still the same basket-case I knew back then. No, from what I saw yesterday she had changed. I had to stop questioning everything and just go downstairs and see her.

I ended up choosing a pair of jeans and a blue chambray shirt, no tie. As I entered the living room Mom looked up from her crocheting and whistled. Maybe I over did it. "Don't you look nice? I remember when you were little how you would throw such a fit when it came to putting on your church clothes. I guess a pretty woman is more of an incentive to dress nicely than church would ever be for a young man." I felt the color rise in my face. "Don't blush. There is nothing wrong with being a good looking man. You look a lot like your father when he was your age."

I thanked her for say that I looked like my dad. I wasn't sure if that was really a compliment though. The clock on the mantel rang out that it was one o'clock as I sat down next to her. "So what are you making?"

"It will be a baby blanket for Elaine." My eyebrow went up. "You missed that part of the conversation yesterday day. She is pregnant again."

"How far along," I asked and found myself genuinely interested in knowing.

"Three months. They are so hoping for a girl this time. I just hope that now you are done with school you will find a nice young lady and settle down and give me grand children too."

I rolled my eyes I should have known it was coming. My mom loved children. I would think that once your own son lets you know he is thinking about kicking you out of your home you would sort of start looking at children differently. I would but not her.

We fell into a companionable silence as she crocheted. I tried occupying myself with TV, reading an old issue of Reader's Digest, and then by pacing. "Andy, would you please sit down?"

"She's late. Maybe she meant next week? I mean she was here yesterday and said Friday. Maybe she didn't mean today."

She smiled patiently at me. "You would think that you were being stood up for a date. How long did you speak to her yesterday? It couldn't have been that long, five maybe ten minutes? I don't think I have ever seen you so smitten in such a short period of time." I wanted to tell her that I knew Allison from before but then she would want to know if I was so crazy about her why I didn't date her. How could I tell her that I was a sheep and so that I wouldn't lose my friends I hurt Allison instead?

"I'd say it was closer to ten minutes," I replied looking over her head at the clock which now read 1:30.

"A watched pot never boils." I sat on the couch and flipped through the Reader's Digest for the second time. Finally at 1:45 the doorbell rang and I jumped up to answer it my mom chuckling in the background at my behavior. If it wasn't her I wouldn't know what to do. Luckily as I threw it open Allison was standing on the other side looking very hurried.

"Sorry I'm late." /"Hi." We said at the same time and then laughed.

"Come one in," I stepped to the side and let her inside. I felt a bit over dressed. She was wearing a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt with the arms rolled and a red bandana as a hair-band. "Uh- do you want to go to the kitchen?"

"That would be fine," she said following behind me then stopped, "Is your mom here?"

"In the living room why?"

"No reason really, I just thought it would be nice to say hello to her." I had the distinct impression that she was afraid to be alone with me.

"Go ahead."

She went into the living room and greeted my mom who gushed over her. By the time I arrived in the doorway she was saying, "And Andy was getting worried that you wouldn't show up."

"Sorry I didn't call."

"No need to apologize," Mom told Allison. "Now you two kids go in the kitchen. Andy, don't be a rude host and forget to offer her something to drink."

"I won't, Mom," I reassured her as Allison and I once again headed to the kitchen. Once in there she took a seat at the table and placed her briefcase on the chair next to her. That meant I had to sit across the table from her. "Was traffic bad?"

"Not really. I had to deal with a bee."

"A bee?"

"A bee." It was obvious that she didn't want to elaborate.

"So where should we begin?"

"Your father."

"You already know what he was like." I said in hopes of her loosening up and not being so formal and professional. Instead she just looked at me and said, "How are you and your mother dealing with his passing?"

"She isn't taking it as hard as I thought she would. Then again maybe it came as a relief to her. She isn't under his thumb any longer."

"It sounds as though you have a lot of anger towards him."

"I used to. I used to really resent him for how he pressured me. After I stopped wrestling and time passed I forgave him"

"Why did you stop wrestling?"

She was like a robot with the questions. I wanted to shaker her and yell, "It's me. It's Andy," but instead I kept playing the distance game. It was wrong. I felt she was being immature by pretending to be mature. What I said was, "My dad and my professors I decided that it was time for me to concentrate more on my studying."

In a moment when the present and the past warped together she looked and me and said, "That is very interesting. Why don't you tell me why you really quit/are in here?" Past Allison and present Allison over-laid on top of one another. It made my heart catch in my throat. I could have said, "Forget it." I wanted to. I wanted at that moment to just walk away. Instead I told her the truth. "There were lots of times when I wished my knee would go out. Finally it did during the last big match of my freshman year of college."

"How did you and your father deal with that?"

"He didn't deal with it well." She looked at me waiting for me to continue. "What more do you want me to say."

"I don't want you to say anymore than you feel the need to."

"Yes, you do." I snapped at her and slammed my hands on the table causing her to jump.

She stood and started putting her pad and pen away. "This wasn't a good idea. I'll have one of my colleagues take over your case."

"Allison, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap like that. It's just…" I sat back down feeling defeated, "it's just a very stressful time and I haven't been sleeping."

She sat again too. "Wanna talk about it," she asked softly. I looked up and met her eyes that were filled with a familiar warmth and understanding. The same eyes that made me open up to her and the others years ago while sitting on the floor of the library.

"You were right." She looked at me puzzled and I continued. "When you grow up your heart does die. I remember my father. He never seemed to care about any of us. Not my mom, or my brother or me. He was never violent although he had a temper. I inherited that from him. He was very cold. I don't remember ever seeing my parents share a romantic moment. Obviously they had them or my brother and I wouldn't be here. I don't remember my dad loving us boys unless we were bringing him home another trophy for his office. They were kept there. Other kids had them in their bedrooms, not us. Ours were there so he could see what winners we were."

"My brother is just as bad. He isn't the same as he was when we were kids. I don't know how he treats his sons but I've seen how he treats mom and it makes me sick. His heart died too." I paused. "Can I get you a drink?"

"No thank you, I'm fine. And how did you deal with the loss of wrestling?"

"Horrified. Wrestling was my life for so long and yeah, I wished that my knee would go out so I could quit it wasn't anything I really wanted to happen. Or I didn't think I wanted it to happen. I'm not really sure which. Then it did happen and all I could think was, 'with out wrestling what am I," but at the same time I was relieved. I was like a wild animal that had been domesticated for so long that when I was faced with the wild I had no idea what to do. Glad to be free but not sure where to go from there."

"Did you tell your father?"

"I didn't have a chance too," I said and then told her about how my father reacted with the silent treatment. We talked about my relationship or lack of relationship with my father for about an hour. Then she looked at her watch.

"Oh my. I've got to get going. I guess our session is done for the day. How are you feeling?"

"Isn't that what we have been talking about," I said with a laugh.

She smiled at me. It was the first real smile I had seen from her since I re-met her yesterday. "I mean now you have gotten some of this stuff out."

"Pretty good. A little lighter."

We just stood there looking at each other for what felt like an eternity. "Uh you have to get going right?"

"Oh yeah thanks for reminding me." She gathered up her things and we walked toward the door. "If you don't mind there is something I want you to do."

"What is that?"

"Draw a picture."

"You want me to draw a picture."

"Art therapy. It works for kids but I have had success doing it with adults too. Draw a picture of what you would like your family to be like or would have liked your family to be like. Then we will talk about it."

"So you want to see me again?"

"I always wanted to see you again," she answered simply. It was the first time she acted as though we knew each other before. "How about…," she started but I cut her off.

"How about Sunday?"

"It's a weekend."

"I know I just have to be back in Chicago on Monday and ..."

"Sunday is fine. Say around noon?"

I just nodded and thought about leaning in and kissing her but wondered if that would be too much too soon so I didn't.

"See you then." She stepped outside the car.

"Let me walk you out to your car." I took her briefcase from her and led her down the steps to the drive. She got in and I placed the briefcase in the passenger seat. Her car was pretty messy. It reminded me of her bag which she emptied out on the seats in the library. It seemed to have everything in it including coloring books, a Raggedy Ann doll; probably for therapy for kids. The backseat seemed to be full of animal cracker crumbs and full crackers too.

"Messy I know. Just can't seem to keep up with it."

"Is it? I didn't notice." I said jokingly and she laughed.

"Wish I could not notice it. See you Sunday." With that she started the engine, backed down the drive and drove away. I did a happy dance on the lawn. Seemed that I had managed to get past the barriers she had put up.


	9. Recognize Me?

A/N This was a quick idea I had and luckily it wrote itself pretty easily. I wasn't sure how to get Brian involved but I hope this works. I think it does. I also edited a few chapters just to get some continuity problems worked out and think it's a little smoother now but nothing that changes the story. Just me picking nits. Enjoy!

* * *

The rest of the afternoon was uneventful after Allison left. The evening would have been if it hadn't been for a brief phone call from Elaine. Mom said she called to up date her on the obstetrician appointment that she had today but with the way mom acted after the call I think more than that was said. I didn't ask and she didn't bring it up but her whole demeanor changed from her normally relax self to very stressed and she went to bed early.

I stayed up late watching The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. It was one of the few episodes before his retirement. Sitting there with the TV on I decided to do something about Jeff and Elaine before they evicted mom from her house. There was a chance that they would see the light and realize putting her in a home was the wrong thing to do but in case they didn't something would have to be done. I'd hop in my car and drive to the Northwestern's law library and see what I could find out about her rights. My specialty was criminal law and didn't know too much about family law but it was time to make that a priority.

When I woke up the next morning I found myself still on the couch. It was more comfortable than sleeping sitting up on a kitchen chair but still enough to make me very stiff. I went upstairs, and got cleaned up. Mom was still asleep so I wrote her a quick note before I left to let her know where I would be going and give her an idea when I would be back. The last thing I needed was for Jeff to think I abandoned her. Then I snorted. I was becoming who I was in high school. I was worried about what someone else would think about me.

I arrived at the Northwestern campus at about noon after stopping in Winnetka to pick up an egg McMuffin and wait for the rush hour to dissipate on the I-94 heading into the city. As I pulled into campus it seemed like coming home. Why wouldn't it though? I had spent the last four years of my life on this campus. It could have been eight years but because of the whole wrestling thing I went out to Indiana and Purdue in Lafayette. Had I gone to NWU for my undergrad studies I would have been closer to mom. Dad too, no Purdue was right.

Entering the library I made my way to the computerized cataloging system and did a search for cases relatively close to what was going on with my mother. Whether Jeff and Elaine would actually kick her out I didn't know but I had a bad feeling about the whole thing. As I typed my info into the computer all I got was an error message. I tried again and the same thing so I walked over to the librarian's desk. "Excuse me?" She looked up. It was Ms Simons who had to have been around when dinosaurs walked the earth.

"Andrew Clark I thought you would never come back here."

"Neither did I but I needed to check on a few family law cases."

She peered at me over the edge of her wire rimmed bifocals. "I thought you were interested in criminal law." Ms. Simons May have looked like she roamed the earth with the dinos but had an excellent mind. She never forgot a face or what they were studying. I'm sure she still can remember what graduates the year she began at NWU studied even today.

"That's right but this is for something personal. The computer catalogues aren't working."

"I told Amber to put the sign up saying they would be down between 12 and 2. I wonder about that girl sometimes. They are updating the system and putting brand new computers in the labs. It's a big deal. The University president is here and the big shots from the software and computer companies. If you know what cases you are looking for I can take you down to the old catalogues and let you look through there. I know you wouldn't go messing anything up." As she finished I noticed a man staring at me. Something about him looked familiar but I just assumed he was one of the many students who attended NWU that I had seen about before.

"Thanks, Ms. Simons but I think I'll just come back once the system is back online." I was trying to decide how I would kill time until two o'clock. Not like there was a lot to do in Evanston but I could always walk along the lake front and revisit my old haunts.

As I pulled the door open I passed the group of men in suits who the man watching me belonged to and I heard him tell his colleagues, "I'll be right back." And then "Andy?"

I turned to face the man. He seemed very familiar but I couldn't put my finger on who he was. "Andy Clark right?" I nodded. Did I wrestle him? Was he in my torts class? Was he the guy who dented my car my second year there? "Andy its me!" I was trying to place him but I couldn't.

"I'm sorry but I don't remember you," I told him and prepared to walk away.

He looked momentarily disappointed and then said, "Elephant lamp".

I had to do a double take. "Brian? Brian Johnson?" He looked nothing like the scrawny sophomore that I remembered. He had filled out. He looked more like the football players who used to cram him into his locker.

Brian smiled and there was no doubt it was him. "You look great, Andy."

"You too. Hell you have changed. I wouldn't have thought that you were you in a million years."

"Me either. Hey I'm almost done here. Just let me tell my guys bye and we can go to the Student Union and grab a coffee."

"Sounds good."

He went back and said a few words to the guys in suits and we headed next door to get some coffee. We placed our orders and then sat at a booth near the window. "So what happened?" I asked him.

"You mean my new look?" He said laughing. "Well once I got into college I thought it was time to stop being a parent's wet dream as Bender called me. I started doing what I wanted and one of those things was working out. Hell my mom wouldn't let me play baseball when I was a kid because she thought Id get hit in the head with either the bat or the ball and get brain damage. So I got into working out and actually tried wrestling."

He said that I sprayed coffee. It was kind of ironic. I hurt myself and couldn't wrestle and Brian Johnson began. "So like it?"

"It was okay I did it for one season. Preferred the chess club. Can take the boy out of the geek but cant take the geek out of the boy I guess. What about you?"

I caught him up on the happenings in my life and he told me about attending MIT. Was there ever any doubt that would be his first choice? "Bet that made your mother happy."

"Not really. I learned it didn't matter. No matter what I did I wouldn't be good enough or my sister. So have you heard from any of the members of the Breakfast Club since school?"

I laughed. "Had you asked me that last week I would have said no but so far I have seen all of you."

"This week?"

"Yeah funny huh? I don't see any of you for eight years and now here you all are. Speaking of which, I'm meeting Claire and Bender for dinner tonight. Want to come?"

"Well the company is paying for a hotel room in Chicago. I know it's not far from Shermer but I don't have a car here. We are all in a rental and I know the guys wanted to check out some clubs tonight."

"If you are trying to say you don't want to have dinner with us just say it Bri. You don't have to beat around the bush."

"No. No, I'm not saying that. I want to but getting out to Shermer. Okay getting out isn't the problem but the last train is at 11:05 and if I miss that how will I get back to the city. Taxi's aren't covered in business expenses since we have the rental car. Plus I don't think one that far would be covered without a rental car."

"Bri?"

"Yeah"

"Stop babbling."

He blushed a deep shade of red, "Oops sorry."

"I or maybe Claire can give you a lift afterwards if we are too late. So do you want to come or not?"

"I'll be there," he said as he took a sip of his coffee. "Where exactly is there and what time?"

"Mikado at 8pm. If you want call me from the train station and Ill pick you up so you can get to the restaurant."

"Cool."

We finished our coffee while talking about the weather and remembering school. Then we walked back to the library where the computers were up again, surprisingly early and Brian rejoined his colleagues. As I looked for Pederson v Pederson in the law journals I decided to make tonight a real reunion and call and invite Allison when I got back home. We could still have our date on Sunday but tonight would be an impromptu Breakfast Club reunion.


	10. Grief Strikes

A/N Okay Loyal Readers, here is the next chapter. I know you are all looking forward to the big reunion but that is next chapter. I promise! Cross my heart hope to die. I'll try to get it up before Sunday. Until then here is today's chapter of "Coming Home".

* * *

I stayed in the library until three thirty looking up various cases that may be useful should Jeff and Elaine go too far with wanting mom's house. There were no cases that I found that were exactly the same as what this could become but there was enough that he could be held off. Satisfied I hopped into my car and started back to Shermer. 

It had been really weird running into Brian. He hadn't changed that much since school. Sure he had bulked up but after talking to him for awhile I didn't see the football player form but the scrawny kid he was. That Brian Johnson was still there deep down. It was nice to know he hadn't changed. He joining us tonight would help take a lot of the pressure off of Bender and Claire.

I still needed to call Allison and wasn't sure how to get in touch with her. She didn't give me her number before she left so checking the phone book was the first thing I did once I got home. "Andy is that you?" Mom called from the kitchen.

"Yeah it's me."

"Where were you?" she said emerging from the kitchen and hugged me as though I had been gone for years instead of a few hours.

"Mom, what's wrong? Are you okay?" I don't think I had seen her that distraught before. Not even at the funeral. Maybe all the sorrow had finally caught up with her. She began crying harder. "Mom?" I just held her and rubbed her back. I felt helpless. After a few minutes she raised her head from my shoulder and sniffed. "Oh my I think the cookies are burning."

"It's okay I'll go get them." The cookies were a dark brown, one step away from being charcoal briquettes. I opened the window and tried to fan some of the smoke out. As I tried to see if any of the cookies were worth saving I noticed her standing in the doorway.

"You must think I'm a crazy old lady, Andy."

"I'd never think that, Mom. I do think we should make a new batch of cookies because if we try eating these we will need new teeth." That got a smile out of her. She nodded at me to go ahead and put more dough on the cookie sheet. "So what's wrong?"

"Nothing really; I guess being alone in the house with you not here it just dawned on me that your father is actually gone. He won't be walking through the back door with a pizza and a six pack after I cooked a nice healthy dinner, he won't be cheering on the Blackhawks or Bears in the living room disturbing my bridge match, and he won't be there for me to kiss goodnight." She was making tears well up in my eyes. In my mind I was still seven and she was there to kiss my bandage covered skinned knee to make them all better. How was I supposed to make her lonely heart better? "Maybe Jeff and Elaine are right." I started to interrupt her but she held up her hand to let me know she was continuing. "This house needs a family in it again and I am too old to live by myself. I've never lived by myself, Andrew. I went from my parents' house to your father's. Maybe I'm better off with people my own age."

"Don't talk like that mom. You aren't old and you are a strong woman. You have never lived on your own maybe its time to give it a try."

"Maybe but not in this old house. Too many memories."

"Do you know what I was doing today?" I asked as I slid the pan of cookies into the oven.

"What?"

"I drove back down to Evanston to the NWU campus and spent hours in the law library. I was looking for ways for you to keep the house. Right now it's hard for you. Right now you are feeling lost without dad but give it time and you will feel better. At least don't give up the house right way. I don't want you to do something that you will regret later."

"You do have point." She reluctantly admitted. "I love this place but without you boys and your dad it just isn't the same."

"No, it won't be the same. No one can recapture the past but you can look forward to the future. This is your house. I remember when you picked out the wall paper for the kitchen. This wall paper." Dad had put up such a fight when she wanted the wall paper with the little cherries and he wanted bears football helmets. As young boys we sided with dad but she stuck to her guns and told dad he could paper the garage in football helmets if he wanted but she would not have that logo staring her in the face every time she baked a ham or washed the dishes. "What about the carpet in the living room? Remember how dad wanted Astroturf? That is carpet that you picked, the wall paper that you picked, Mom this is your house."

At that she smiled. "I can see you in a court room, Andrew. You're right. I'm just not thinking clearly right now. Looks like the cookies are done." She said as she peered into the oven. "Now go wash your hands and Ill pour you a glass of milk and we can eat some of these."

After cookies and milk with mom I called Allison. She was the first listing under the last name Reynolds. "Hello?" she said answering the phone.

"Allison, it's Andy."

She hesitated a moment and then said, "Oh, hi. How did you get my number?"

"I looked you up in the phonebook. I hope you don't mind me calling but I ran into Brian today and we are meeting for dinner tonight at the Mikado at eight. Interested in joining us?"

More silence on the other end of the line. "Brian as in Brian Johnson?"

_Your middle name is Ralph, as in puke, your birth date's March 12th, you're 5'9 and a half, you weigh 130 pounds and your social security number is 049380913.  
_

_Wow. Are you psychic?  
_

_No.  
_

_Well, would you mind telling me how you know all this about me?_

_I stole your wallet._

"Yep Brian Johnson. You won't believe how he has changed. So what do you say?"

"Sure why not. It's just after five now. Eight o'clock you said?"

"Yes. Do you need a ride or something? I could always pick you up." I could almost hear her smile over the phone line.

"I've got a car remember? A Black bug and a messy one at that."

I felt like such a dork. How come I could pick women up without any problems at clubs when going out with friends but when I talked to Allison I became an idiot? "Yeah, sorry."

"Sorry that I have a car?"

"No sorry that I asked."

"I knew that I was just teasing you."

A playful Allison? It was new to me but I guess even that Saturday I could see it lingering below the surface. She certainly led Claire on with her story about being a nymphomaniac that day. I laughed, partially at the memory and partially at her teasing.

"So see you at 8."

"Well there about. I have something to do so I may be a little late. I'll try to be on time but I can't promise."

"Sounds good." I told her. I knew that was my cue to say good bye but I didn't want to take it. I didn't want to hang up even though I knew I would see her later.

"Well I have to go if you want me to be able to make it later."

"Okay."

"Okay. Bye."

"Bye". I hung up to find my mom standing behind me.

"So who was that?"

"An old friend." She arched her eye brow. "I ran into a few old friends and we are meeting for dinner tonight." Then I realized that she might have wanted me to be there with her. "You don't mind do you?"

"Not at all. I have a bridge game tonight here and I was going to ask you if you would mind going out for a few hours."

By seven thirty I was ready and dressed. I decided to go with pretty much how I dressed when I met Allison the day before. I didn't want everyone to think I turned into a bum but I didn't want to be too fancy either. It would be weird to see them all together in one place again. The only thing weirder would have been to meet up in the old Shermer High School library. Brian would have probably loved it though. As I came down the stairs Mom whistled. "Some young lady is getting lucky tonight," she said with a smile.

I just laughed. "Mom it's a group not just one young lady."

"Could have fooled me by the way you were talking on the phone. You have a completely different tone when you talk to a girl you are interested in. You always have. Now you go out and have fun."

"You too, mom." I said as I kissed her on the cheek and left.

First stop was to pick Brian up at the train. I pulled into the station and he was already there. I checked my watch and I was earlier than what we had discussed. He looked up as I honked my horn. I leaned over and popped the passenger side door lock so he could get in. "Hey have a good ride out here?"

"Hi, yeah it was okay. It's a Saturday and kind of late so the train was empty. There was a screaming baby but the mom got off four stops before Shermer so it wasn't too bad. You know they raised the fares? I almost didn't have enough change for a ticket and…"

"Bri you're babbling again."

"Oh sorry. I'm pretty nervous. Aren't you?"

"A little bit;" I said honestly. I mean I had no idea how Claire and Bender would react to each other. He seemed to have mellowed a bit as he aged as did Claire but they were always volatile when they were together; baking soda and vinegar. Then there was Allison. I probably wouldn't have been as nervous about seeing her if she hadn't been so distant when we became reacquainted. At least Brian was there. I had a feeling he would be a good balancing force.

"So what are they like?"

"Well I guess you will see for yourself soon," I said as we pulled into the parking lot.

"Why?"

"Because we are here."


	11. The Reunion pt 1

A/N Yes you all are going to kill me but I thought where I stopped would be a good place. I will update again soon. What I write next will be for my other story, "The Weekend is Over" since it has been awhile since I updated that one. Hope you like this chapter though. I know I am evil. And just because I havent said it in awhile... I do not own the Breakfast Club idea or any of the characters created by John Hughes.

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The Mikado was where my parents took me after high school graduation. My dad of course bitched about sissy Asian food but once we informed them that there was something with beef on the menu he was pretty okay with it. I think my brother and I ate beef teriyaki as well, mostly so dad wouldn't call us "pussies" for eating fish. Real men eat beef right? Back then the Mikado was a bit higher classed. It was a surprise when Brian and I entered and I discovered it had been turned into a family style Japanese restaurant. In other words it was still nice but it kids seemed to be running every where.

I approached the hostess, "Hi we have a reservation for six at eight pm."

"Your name please?" she asked smiling and eyeing Brian. I felt a bit jealous. It normally would have been me getting the looks and on the receiving end of a flirt.

"Clark."

"Yes, I have you hear for non smoking. Is that right?" I told her it was and she said, "right this way," she said still speaking to Brian rather than to me and we followed her to what seemed to be a fairly quiet area of the restaurant. The booth was large and roomy. The wall next to it was a large saltwater aquarium with exotic fish and artificial coral. "Can I bring you anything while you wait for the rest of your party?" She said while handing us menus.

"I'll take a cup of green tea," Brian told her not meeting her eyes. It was funny women, at least this one was, were throwing themselves at him but he seemed to think he was still the same guy he was in school.

"Sake." I told her and she walked off to get our drink orders. Then it was just the two of us. I hoped everyone would show up. "So are you nervous?" I asked him as he sat there playing with his napkin.

"A bit; I mean none of us really talked after that Saturday. I considered you guys my friends. I knew that it wouldn't last until Monday. I hoped that it would but deep down I knew it wouldn't. Allison is the only one who still wanted to be my friend after that day."

"For me it was Claire. I want to be the first to tell your Brian that I am sorry I acted like a total ass."

"You don't have to apologize. I'm no better than you." His eyes were downcast and I was pretty sure he might have been starting to cry. "I did the same thing to Allison. I was ready to talk to her and to be her friend but I learned my friends were no better than yours or Claire's and I was just as weak. I liked her. Yeah she was weird but I honestly liked her but I couldn't stand up to my friends either. When she talked to me in the hall and they laughed and called her names I was just like Claire. I told them that I helped her with her math once and now she wouldn't leave me alone."

"What I did to her was worse. Way worse." It was I mean I was in love with her and I stood there while my friends humiliated her. While Brian and his friends hurt her with their rejection I know what I did after kissing her on that Saturday had to have hurt much worse.

"Did she get hurt by all of us?"

The thought that we all rejected her when she did try, she did keep up with Claire's little make over was making me ill. "God, I hope not." If we did I could see why she was so distant at my mom's. She was scared. I was glad that I invited her tonight I hope it wasn't too much for her. My train of thought was broken when I heard Claire's voice.

"Hi Andy. OH MY GOD! Brian? Is that you?" Brian blushed and smiled. "Stand up let me look at you." I had to smile too. She sounded just like my mother. He stood and she helped him turn around so she could check him out from all angles. "You know I'm starting a men's line of clothing and you would be perfect to model for me."

"You're joking right?" he asked in disbelief. "Me? A model?" Jealously was rearing its head again. I should be happy for Brian right? I mean look at how he was in school its only fair that he has a time to shine now, but the other part of me, the part that laughed when Heather Willis tossed the perfume on Allison, wanted to put him down, call him a geek and maybe tape his butt cheeks together. Then make Claire see how I would be better than Brian. Luckily I was able to keep that part under control. That part of me was part of me that I hated.

"You know…I don't think I am." She said as he began to sit back down. "Do you mind if I sit next to the aquarium Brian? I hate sitting on the outside of a booth. It always seems that without fail someone dumps something on me when I sit on the outside." Before he could answer she sat and scooted to the inside of the booth. He just shrugged at me and sat next to her. "Andy, I thought it would be just you and me."

"I ran into Brian today and thought it would be nice if he joined us."

"She doesn't know?" He asked. Shit. Honestly I was afraid to tell Claire that John Bender was coming for fear that she wouldn't want to come.

"What don't I know?" She asked him. Then she turned to me, "Andy, what don't I know." Before I could answer the answer appeared.

"Well, well, well look at this. We not only have the sport and the brain but a princess too. Turned this into a Breakfast Club reunion did we Sporto?" Normally I would have taken offense to him calling me Sporto but he was smiling and seemed generally glad to see everyone. "Big Bri! I guess that really suits you now; lookin' good. And you Princess," he gave a little chuckle but before he could finish she was trying to get past Brian to leave.

"I am **not** staying if he is here. You know Andy; it was really low not to tell me that **he **was going to be here too. Bri, move and let me out."

"Brian," I said to him. "You stay right where you are." He looked between the three of us confused but stayed put.

"Don't worry Princess we won't spoil your meal," he said starting to turn to leave.

"Don't worry I won't be here to even eat. Sorry Brian, here is my card," she slipped him a business card with Claire's Closet written across it in a swirly, girly font, "Now let me up." The tension was thick as we waited to see if Brian would let her go or not but then a small voice piped up.

"Daddy? Is the pretty lady _really_ a Princess?" Coming out from behind his legs was a pretty little four year old girl. I had forgotten about Bender's daughter Madeline. She was wearing a dark green dress with a white pinafore, white tights, and small black patent leather shoes. Her hair hung in a riot of curls framing her face and big dark eyes.

"Daddy?" asked Brian and Claire at the same time.

"Yeah 'Daddy' I'm a father have a problem with that?" Claire muttered something under her voice. I could tell he wanted to call her on it but instead ignored her. It seemed to take all his strength not to say something nasty instead he said, "Andy, Brian, Claire, this is my daughter Maddie. Maddie this is Andy, Brian and Claire. What do you say?"

She thought a second and then gave a little curtsy and said, "How do you do," and extended her hand to each of us. She won me over. Brian smiled and said, "Very well thank you." Claire just gushed over her. "She is just the cutest. Have you thought about having her model? She has the most perfect skin." I was glad that she was taking his daughter well.

"I guess that means we can stay. We have won the approval of the Princess so take a seat Maddie." The little girl climbed up and sat next to Brian which meant the only place for Bender was next to me. Once he was seated the waitress came by bringing a small pot of green tea for Brian and a little carafe of sake for me. Passing out menus to Claire and John she asked if they would like to order drinks.

"I'll have sake too after tonight I'll need it," said Claire.

"I'll take tea I have to drive tonight."

"John Bender being responsible?" she said with a snort.

"What? Did you think I would drink and drive with my daughter in the car? Guess that just shows how little you think of me Claire. Plus I'm off the sauce and have been well since Maddie was born."

Disregarding the conversation between her father and Claire the little girl said, "And I would like to have milk please. Chocolate."

"You know how your mom feels about Chocolate."

"Please?" she said batting her eye lashes. Madeline Bender was certainly a daddy's girl.

"Okay but only one and no desert. Your mom will kill me. And Miss? Could you bring a couple crayons for her?"

"Certainly sir," and as she left the table, "and by the way your little girl is adorable."

"Thanks," he told the waitress. Then to the rest of us he added, "We try to raise her well but it seems that she is a lot like our Princess here. She knows that she is beautiful and uses it to her advantage. God help any boy who comes within six feet of her when she is a teenager because I will kick their asses." Brian and I laughed at that. Claire sat there looking upset.

"You still think I am a tease?"

"No, I never said I still thought you were a tease. Obviously you still think you are a tease or it wouldn't be on your mind so much."

A different waitress set a coloring sheet and five crayons on the table and Maddie thanked her then said, "Teasing is mean. It hurts people's feelings. You really shouldn't tease people, Princess Claire." That caused all of us except Claire to laugh. She just glared at John as though he had prompted her to say that.

"So guys, what have you all been up to since school," asked Brian trying to defuse what was sure to become a volatile situation between Claire and John.

"You go first Big Bri."

"Well I graduated in 1986 and went to MIT when I majored in Computer Science and Engineering and Management. I received my BS in 90 and now I'm working for an educational software company and working towards my PhD in Technology."

"Got a girl friend?"

"Uh...yes. Her name is Polly."

"Is that a parrot or a girlfriend?"

"A girlfriend. She is majoring in Electrical Science and Engineering."

"Exciting," said Bender sarcastically.

"Well what have you been doing John that you feel you have to be down on Brian? Why don't you tell them all about your years as a great burnout? As an addicted bum? Why don't you tell us all where you disappeared to after graduation? Huh?"

Many motions flashed through Bender's eyes as Claire confronted him. I'm sure if it hadn't been for Maddie he would have let loose on her. Reaching into his pocket he pulled out a handful of quarters. "Bri, do me a favor. Take Maddie into the back room where the videogames are and let her play until the quarters run out. If we are still discussing things when you get back take her back there again. I'll pay you back whatever quarters you spend."

"What if the waitress comes to take our orders?"

"What do you want?"

"Negimayaki."

"Fine. When the waitress comes I'll order it for you. Now take her okay?"

"Sure. Uh Andy you want to come too?"

Before I could answer Maddie looked up, yelled "Mommy," and jumped out of her seat. I didn't have a chance to turn around to see who mommy was but as Claire's eyes widened in horror and I felt a sinking sensation in my gut. Brian's chin was on the floor. Bender stood turned around and said, "Fancy meeting you here, Ally."


	12. The Reunion pt 2

A/N Congratulations to you who spotted the Bender/Allison connection before the chapter was posted. I was afraid I had made it too obvious. Anyway here we go with the next chapter. Not a lot gets resolved but there is a lot to talk about. Stay tuned for Ch 13: The Reunion Pt. 3. But before I post that I will do the next chapter of "The Weekend Is Over."

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Bender stood, turned around and said, "Fancy meeting you here, Ally."

Clair kept muttering "Oh my god," over and over and over. Brian was open mouthed as if he were unable to comprehend what had just happened. And me? I felt as though the bottom had just fallen out of my world. Things said and pieces of information that didn't seem to mean anything at the time were suddenly illuminated. If I had been in a cartoon one would have seen the light bulb over my head turn on. The photo of Maddie on Bender's work desk and him saying the little girl was like her mother as though I would know what he meant. All of the kids stuff in Allison's car should have been a clue to me that she was a mom but I made myself believe that it was for her job. I felt like an idiot. Allison and John Bender?

"Hey baby," Allison said as she knelt down to hug the little girl.

"I love you Mommy but I'm a big girl not a baby," corrected her and John's daughter. She replied, "You're right you are a big girl." Then she stood back up and led Maddie back to her seat in the booth. "Hi," she said meekly to the rest of us. "John, you didn't tell me you were taking her out to dinner tonight."

"Slipped my mind, but I guess since you are here we can all sit down and enjoy this nice reunion that Andrew planned." Bender motioned to our side of the booth and Allison removed her jacket and slid in next to me with Bender on the outside. "Now isn't this cozy."

"Oh my god, oh my god…," Claire repeated over and over.

"Claire," said Brian leaning over and waving his hand lightly in front of her face trying to snap her out of it, "Claire, are you okay."

"She'll be fine. Just shocked to know not everything is peachy in the kingdom," said John. He was so nonchalant about it. What on earth did Claire see in him? He was still the same sarcastic asshole. I had given him too much credit.

"You should drink something." Brian lifted the small cup of sake to her lips and she sipped, sputtering and coughing as she swallowed the rice wine. He patted her back as she wiped her pink lips on the red cloth napkin. "Are you okay?"

"No, I'm not." She just stared at Allison and Bender. I knew how she felt. Maybe she and I were living in the past to think that we could rekindle whatever was there that Saturday.

Maddie slid the coloring sheet across the table. "Look at what I drew, Mommy." From what I could see she completely ignored the clown outline that was already there and instead drew a barn with various farm animals. It wasn't the usual blob like animals children normally draw but very life like and the child was only four.

"That is very nice, sweetie. Why don't you draw some trees too." She handed the drawing back.

"Okie dokie."

The waitress came by to take the order and deliver the drinks that we hadn't yet received. We all told her something and I'm not sure if we even knew what we were ordering. Guess it didn't matter because I don't think any of us had much of an appetite. "You know guys, if you want to talk I can still take Maddie into the game room. Not a big deal."

"What do you say, Ally?"

"That's fine. Just don't let her play anything violent. Pacman or something like that is okay."

"Sounds like a plan. Honey?"

"Daddy?"

"Uncle Brian is going to take you to play video games. So go with him for a little bit okay?"

"Video games? Cool!" she said jumping up and grabbing Brian's hand. "Let's go play, Uncle Brian." Allison mouthed a thank you to him and he just nodded leading the little girl to the arcade room. At least we didn't have to worry about language now but the idea of Brian as the great neutralizer just went out the window.

As soon as they were out of sight Claire hissed, "How could you?" I was wondering the same thing. How could they?

"What did you think I had no life after you Princess?"

"But with her?"

"Gee thanks, Claire," said Allison obviously offended. "You could have been there that night if you hadn't been such a bitch."

"What do you know? I tried to help him. He didn't want my help."

"How would you know what I wanted, Claire? Did you ever ask me? No, I had to listen to what you thought I should be doing; what you wanted me to do. You never cared how I felt you only cared about yourself!" Allison put her hand on his arm to calm him down.

"That isn't true. I cared about us. Us John; me and you. It's not like you cared about what I wanted either." He crossed his arms and turned his head. "Just like always. Burying your head in the sand when you don't want to hear what I have to say. Well rather you ignore me this way than snorting a line of cocaine."

"That is enough!" He roared.

"What about you Andy? Allison was your big love. How do you feel that she fucked John Bender," Claire asked looking at me.

Allison said, "I told you that it was okay if you loved someone." Then we all looked at her.

"So you love Bender?"

"I did that night. He was and is a good friend the only one of you that was always a friend to me. He needed someone to love him and obviously it wasn't going to be you."

"To answer your question Claire it doesn't make me happy."

"That is all?" She asked me. She was becoming exasperated.

"No, that isn't all but what do you want me to say?" Then it dawned on me that Claire was holding me partially responsible. She was finding it easy to blame Bender and Allison. That was logical but she was holding me responsible too. "You think it's my fault that they slept together?"

"Well if you hadn't ignored her."

Allison then stepped in, "This is silly. You want to know what happened? Honestly it has little to do with either of you. Life happened. It was four years after you guys graduated. Do you want to tell them John or should I?"

"Stop it!" said Claire loudly. "I call him John. The rest of you called him Bender." I was starting to get worried about Claire she really wasn't handling this well. I guess if the person you thought of as your soul mate for years suddenly had a life you didn't know about it might not be easy to take. I was taking it hard but years of my dad tell me to "suck it up and be a man" and "boys don't cry are you a sissy?" had hardened me to things like this. I was just trying to take it all in like Claire was but doing a better job of not letting my shock and anger show.

Bender nodded at Allison to let her know to go along with Claire's John vs. Bender request. "So Bender, do you want to tell them?"

He sat back and took a sip of the cup of tea in front of him. "I was pretty bad off. Right before graduation my old man got worse. He beat my mom so bad she was in the hospital. Scared him so bad he was the one who called 9-11 bastard told them that I did it. They put me in county lock up for about 3 days. Luckily my old lady came around and managed to tell them that my dad did it. Let me out but all he got was a slap on the wrist, community service and was told to attend anger management. I remember when he walked through the front door after his court hearing mom right behind him like a good little lap dog. 'You fucking good for nothing son of a bitch,' he yelled in my face, "How the fuck am I supposed to work to pay for your no good lazy retarded ass and do community service. Couldn't fuckin' tell them that you did it? No. After I've given you a roof over your head all these years. Would have done better givin' it to a bum at the Harrison Avenue bus station.' Then he looked me over as if seeing me for the first time, and told me to get out. 'Get the fuck out.' I started up the stairs but he grabbed my collar jerking me backwards. 'What the fuck do you think you're doing? Huh? You ain't taking anything. I paid for that shit with my hard earned money.'"

"He kicked you out?" I asked surprised yet not really. From what we learned about John Bender Sr in detention nothing that he did was surprising.

"Hell I'm surprised he didn't do it sooner. I was 18. I wanted to leave but always felt like I had to be there to protect her. Just figured Id have my stuff with me when I left."

"Where did you go?" Claire reached across the table and touched his arm. He moved out of her way and she looked hurt.

"Your place."

"No, you didn't."

"I would think I know where I went. I didn't go there right away. First to clear my head I got stoned in the park." Claire and I looked at him. "Yeah alright it wasn't the smartest thing to do. But what could I do huh? With the way I was feeling I couldn't just show up. I wanted to get my thoughts together then wandered down your way. Thought maybe I could crash at your place. Hell it was big enough that you could have put the whole high school marching band in there playing 'Louie Louie' and your parents wouldn't have found out." She didn't deny it and he continued. "I knocked on your door and the maid answered. A fucking maid. I mean I figured you would have one but she was the stereotype. Was she even in the country legally, Claire?"

"Why are you taking what my parents did out on me?"

"They would have done anything for you. You even said as much. You could have told them that they should hire a legal alien if they wanted someone. How much did they pay her, Claire? Or were you worried if they had to pay someone a real wage they wouldn't be able to make the payments on your graduation present? I saw it in the drive with a big red bow around it like something from a game show."

"Like you were into human rights; you could have cared less who her parents had as a maid you're just trying to piss her off now," I said coming to Claire's defense.

"How would you know what I was or am into Sporto?"

"Can we please have an adult like conversation?" asked Allison.

"I am. Now may I continue?" No one said anything. "Thank you. So as I was saying Juanita answered the door…' "Consuela" corrected Claire. He glared at her and continued, "and I asked for you."

He didn't get to continue as the meals arrived. "I better go get Brian and Maddie," said Allison as she scooted out then headed for the game room.

"Looks good," said Bender eyeing his food. "Sushi again, Claire?"

"Sushi is good. Andy has some too. Maybe if you were more open minded."

"I will **not** go there with you Princess."

"Why do you always have to be so hostile?" She asked as Brian, Maddie and Allison, sat down.

Maddie reached for her glass of milk. "Blech! It's warm." Then she looked around. "Why is everybody mad, Mommy?"

"No one is mad."

"Then why isn't anyone wearing a happy face? Is it my fault?"

"No, of course not. People can be happy and no smile," Bender told his daughter. "Every one had a surprise and they didn't like it very much." I was actually impressed by the way he handled the little girl. While I hated the idea that they had a daughter together they were good parents from what I could see. I thought Allison would be but Bender? It was unexpected but he seemed to be a natural at it.

The rest of dinner no one spoke except for Maddie who was fascinated by the sushi and horrified when "Princess Claire" explained that it was fish. Wide eyed the little girl leaned over looked at the aquarium and then refused to eat even when Allison explained that she wasn't eating fish but vegetables. Apparently Allison and her daughter were vegetarians although Maddie was too young to understand what exactly one was.

After our meal was over we paid. I felt bad for Brian. We hardly had a chance to talk to him all evening. "Brian I'm really sorry about tonight," I told him as we waited outside the restaurant for the others to catch up with us.

"Not your fault." He said but I gave him a look that showed I knew better. "Well not entirely. Bender and Allison huh? That is something."

"You are telling me."

"You'll have to catch me up on everything that led to that."

Glancing at my watch I saw that it was 10pm. "You have an hour 'til the last train."

"Yeah I know but maybe it's a good idea if I cut out. I've got to go back to Boston tomorrow evening, but I'll probably be back out here for business."

"If you are give me a call. We can do something more fun than tonight."

"Yeah," he laughed, "but I doubt that it will be more interesting."

I told the others that I was going to drive Brian to the station and they insisted upon come with us. So we loaded into our cars and drove the 2 miles. We all shook hands with him and told him how nice it was to see him again and we all promised that we would get together again should he be back in town but some how I got the impression that we meant that about as much as we did when we said we would try to be friends on Monday.

"So what now?" asked Bender?

Allison looked confused, "What do you mean? It's after 10 I have to get Maddie into bed. As if on cue the little girl yawned.

"We still have a lot to cover. I'm sure Claire and Andrew are still wondering exactly how she," he motioned to Maddie, "came to be."

"We can go to my mom's." I suggested. I knew she would be thrilled to see Allison and would adore her daughter. "She has lots of room and Maddie can lay down and take a nap while we grown-ups talk."

Allison looked at me as though grew a second head. "If we do that I wouldn't feel right talking to her anymore. I'd have to assign her case to someone else."

"Shit! You mean that bereavement counseling you were talking about for your mom and you…So that is how you were able to invite Ally." Guess Bender was just starting to put two and two together too. "So how did you get back in touch with Claire? Your rich old man pass away?"

Claire snapped at him. "No!"

"She almost hit me with her car; my fault. So back to my mom's or not?"

Maddie yawned again. They looked at each other then back at me and nodded. "Hope my mom is still having her bridge game."

I


	13. Secrets

A/N When I write I sort of let the characters do what they want to so sometimes I am surprised myself. The ending surprised me. It was not planned. Should be interesting to see what develops. Once again I will update when I get the chance and I do not own the characters or make any money from borrowing them.

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I felt bad that Brian left. We hadn't paid much attention to him. I didn't want him to feel left out but the idea that Allison slept with Bender…well something like that tended to dominate everything. After saying goodbye to him at the station we drove back to my mom's house. Four cars seemed like over kill and I offered Allison a ride in mine but she declined. I suppose everyone having their own car would allow for them to make a get away should things become too heavy.

Arriving we got out and went inside. "Andy, are you back so soon?" My mom called as she came out of the kitchen drying her hands on a checkered dishcloth. She seemed surprised that I had brought everyone back here. It wasn't my intention; it was just the turn the evening took. "Oh, my I wasn't expecting you to bring people home. Ms Reynolds?" Guess she was even more surprised to see Allison.

Allison adjusted Maddie who was almost asleep, on her hip, "Hello Mrs. Clark."

"Mom you know Allison. This is John Bender and Claire Standish".

"Nice to meet you," said Claire offering Mom her well manicured hand.

"Likewise." Then she shook Bender's. "I know you don't I Mr. Bender? You look very familiar."

"You might have seen me at Jewel."

"Oh yes! That is it you were so nice when that pork tenderloin I bought was bad. I didn't realize that you knew Andrew." I knew what she was thinking. She was wondering where my "friends" from high school were. She wasn't expecting me to bring anyone home but if I did she would have expected guys like TJ and Rick who I wrestled with and who used to come over all the time. "And the little girl? She looks exhausted."

"Mom, could we put Maddie in the guest room? We have a lot to discuss and..:" I didn't get to finish

"Why of course, you don't even have to ask. I'll show Ms. Reynolds where to take her."

Allison adjusted Maddie on her hip again and John offered to take his daughter. "I'll take her."

"That' okay I've got her."

I showed told Bender and Claire to go into my dad's office, "Second door on the right." It was dangerous to leave them together but I could only imagine what my mom was discussing with Allison. "Do you two think you will okay for a second?" The look Claire gave me was along the lines of, "Hell No." Bender just shrugged and said, "Let's see what happens."

Upstairs I approached the guest room door, "I didn't realize you knew, Andy from school." My mother was saying.

"We only really spoke once back then. We weren't in the same class."

From the crack in the door I could see mom pulling the blankets back. "Are you married?" Allison hesitated answering the question. She was trying to judge whether or not my mom was going to judge her. Finally she shook her head. "No, never married. John is Maddie's father."

Mom nodded sagely, "It looks as though you two are friends which I'm sure makes it easier to raise a child but its even easier if you have a full time spouse. Do you want a t-shirt or something for her to sleep in? I'm sure she would be much more comfortable."

"Thank you but she will be fine."

"Well let me get you one anyway just in case you change your mind."

I darted out of sight then scolded myself for being so ridiculous. Allison wasn't the type to talk about the past. Meanwhile I was neglecting Bender and Claire and I could only imagine what they were doing. Approaching the office door I didn't hear any yelling that was a good sign. When I went in Claire was seated on the old leather sofa and Bender was flipping though an ancient issue of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition leaning back in my dad's old office chair with his feet on the desk. He gave a long whistle. "Have you seen this one?" he asked not looking away from the magazine. "I can see why your dad kept this one from," he quickly took a look at the cover, "1979. Christy Brinkley certainly has some nice bazoomas."

Claire rolled her eyes and looked the other way at his comment. Allison came in and shut the door behind her. "Maddie is sound asleep. So what have I missed?"

"Nothing much just John being a pig but nothing new there."

"How would you know what he is like? When was the last time you saw him?" It bothered me that Allison was so defensive of him.

"Don't mind her Ally," he said setting the magazine aside. "I'm just getting her goat. Don't worry Claire Christy's bazoomas have nothing on yours. So," he got up and plopped down on the sofa next to Claire. She scooted over away from him, "where should we begin?"

Before I could stop myself I said, "How about how Maddie came to be?" I knew that was the big question on both my mind and Claire's.

"Guess that is the question of the moment. Basically Allison and I did the horizontal mambo and nine months later- Tada! Baby Girl Reynolds." Allison shot him a look. I wanted to question him on that. Baby Girl Reynolds? Wasn't Maddie's last name Bender? Instead I held my tongue decided to wait and hear the whole story.

"See I told you he was still a pig."

"I think we need to start from the beginning," said Allison as she sat on the worn Oriental rug on the floor. Her long skirt folded around her legs and other than her longer hair and natural makeup, very similar to the way Claire showed her how to apply it, it was very much like being back in school. I sat on the rug next to her. Bender shrugged and moved to the floor as well. Finally Claire threw up her hands and joined us, leaning back against the couch.

"Better yet I'll start from where I left off at the restaurant. So let's see….I went to Claire's and I couldn't get in to see her. Princess here could never bring herself to tell her parents about us. I was an idiot who went along with her not telling."

"Sure blame me."

He ignored her and continued, "I thought it was fun too. I felt good doing my bit to corrupt her. It was fun sneaking around but it was that night, Claire that I realized that was all I was to you. I was fun but I'd never be good enough to take home to Mummy and Daddy."

"You never asked. I thought you were happy with the status quo. How was I supposed to know unless you said something?"

"Why should I have had to? If you wanted you could have introduced me at any time, but why should you when you were playing tonsil hockey with Greg Mueller on the side."

Claire's hands flew up to her cheeks. "Yeah I saw that. Didn't seem to be something you were fighting or hating very much."

"You and Craig Mueller? Claire, I thought Craig was gay." Craig was on the basketball team and wrestled middle weight so I knew him slightly and knew there had been rumors but nothing that was ever proven.

"He was. Bender, **you** are an idiot. I was kissing Craig because he didn't want his parents to know. He and were friends since pre-school and he was the only one besides Andy and Allison who knew we were dating. His dad had been giving him a hard time about why he wasn't dating and we came up with a story that we were a couple. That night we had a few to many glasses of champagne and he started to believe the story himself. His parents were there and he got into the act, way into the act. So yes I kissed Craig but there was nothing really going on."

"So what happened after you saw Claire and Craig?" This was getting interesting.

"What choice did I have? My plan was to sack out in her family's pool house for the night but I ended up heading to Jimbo's. We talked and did a few lines of coke."

"Listen how he says that like it was an everyday thing."

"For me it was. Hell Claire you didn't know how bad it was. I never told you how bad it was. I had too much respect for you to let you know. No point in painting your world with the black dirt of mine. So I stayed at Jimbo's a few days until he kicked me out after a bad high. Not a lot of choices so I applied for jobs. And was hired at a dive dinner downtown."

"That is where I ran into him."

"Yeah not my brightest moment that day."

Allison shrugged. "I suppose this is as good of point as any to tell about what happened to me. Well I graduated and moved out and onto the UIC campus."

"I thought you wanted to go to the Art Institute?" She had so much talent I just assumed we would hear her name one day with the likes of van Gogh and Picasso.

"I did. Unfortunatly my scholarship which I was offered wasn't enough and my parents made too much money for financial aid. Luckily the scholarship I received for UIC was enough to classes and a small apartment. The apartment was in a bad area but still I was on my own. My plan was to study art and art history but then I discovered psychology and that I actually had an interest in it and I was good at it. Years of going to a shrink myself I guess. I did an internship my second year with a rehab center and I was told to visit a client who was working at a dinner on Halstead and Chicago. I only had a name, John Bender. At the time I didn't make the connection. Why would I? Chicago is a big city and certainly there was more than one John Bender in the world."

"Yeah my dad."

Allison continued as though Bender hadn't interrupted. "I was told just to go in talk to him and do a report and then if they liked my work he would be my first client.

So I walked into the diner and looked around. I ordered a drink and then I saw him clearing tables.

"_John?" _

"_Who wants to know?" He asked not looking up from the table he was wiping down. _

"_It's me. Allison." He was about to deny knowing me when he looked up and our eyes met. _

"_Holy crap! Allison?" We hugged. It was weird. I had seen all of you around school after that Monday but it was the first time that I had spoken to any of you. "How ya doin'?" _

"_Good and you?" _

"_Getting by. Getting by. Hey, I know I'm off at two." He looked up at the greasy clock which showed 1:45. "How about we go some place and get some real food." _

"_Sounds good." I wasn't sure what to do. Ethically I didn't think it would be a good idea if I worked with him, but on the other hand I thought, it might be possible for him to open up more with me. So at two he came by my table, told me that he paid for my drink and we left. We ended up going to Ed Debevic's. Should go back there soon I'm sure Maddie would love one of their butterscotch shakes. While we were there I explained to John that it wasn't exactly coincide that brought us together. "What the hell?" I believe was what he said when he found out._

"It was more like, 'Are you shitting me?'"Interrupted Bender. _  
_

_But surprisingly he talked. And I became his counselor. "I'm doing better. Getting off the coke was hard but I'm back down to only smoking the occasional joint." I must have given him a doubtful look. "Okay more than occasional but at least I'm off the white stuff." _

_We met three days a week for about eight months and by that time he had really kicked the occasional joint as well. That didn't last though._

She shifted her position on the floor so she was leaning back against the tall bookcase near the door, legs outstretched and ankles crossed. The floor wasn't exactly comfortable but the office was private. "So what happened?" I asked truly curious. Allison looked at Bender as if to ask whether or not she should continue. He nodded at her and reached into his shirt pocket producing a pack of cigarettes.

"Mind if I smoke?"

I didn't answer just got up opened the window and found an old ashtray in my dad's desk. "Thanks."

"May I?" Claire asked him.

"You smoke?"

She nodded. "Sort of got in the habit thanks to you." She took a cancer stick from his pack and he lit it for her.

"You never smoked when we dated."

Another surprise. She led me to believe that was when she started. "No, after you disappeared. I started because I missed the smell and it reminded me of you." The sat there staring at each other so I cleared my throat. I was glad that they hadn't killed each other and Claire was softening towards him but I was more curious about Maddie.

"Well, let's see. Maybe you should be the one telling this John."

"Fine if you want. If I tell it, it won't be romantic."

She smiled at him. "It wasn't that romantic to begin with."

"Okay so I'd been talking to Ally like she said for 8 months when I got a call from my mom. She and I talked on occasion. She'd call when the old man was out drinking or passed out on the couch. Well she called and was hysterical. I couldn't understand what she was saying. So in a panic I hopped into my old shit-box car and drove out here to their house. Amazing that I wasn't stopped by the cops since I made it here in record time. I could hear his yelling and her crying as I approached the door. I didn't even knock just went right on inside.

"_Get your fucking hands off of her." _

_He turned sneering at me. It had been just over 2 years and he looked like he aged a life time. I never thought of him as old before but I guess if you drank as much as he did eventually you'd be able to see it. "Well, well if it isn't the prodigal fucking son. To what do we owe this honor? Oh! I know your whore of a mother... " he let it fade and looked at her. I could see my mom huddled on the yellow linoleum covered kitchen floor in the corner with a bloody nose holding her arm. She too looked much older than I remembered, and very frail._

"_You bastard if you touch her again!"_

"_If I touch her again then what Johnny boy? You are all talk always have been." He screamed other obscenities at me went bitching and moaning about how she burnt his steak. As he pulled his foot back to kick her I grabbed his shoulders and spun him to face me. He went to yell something but his face froze in mid yell and he crumpled to the floor. _

"_Fuck!"_

"_What did you do?" yelled my mother as she scrambled on her knees over to his body. _

"_I didn't do anything!" I remember reaching for the phone and calling 9-1-1. They said they were sending an ambulance and the police. I checked for my father's pulse but there was none. He was dead. Maybe I should have attempted CPR but I didn't. I found out later it wouldn't have mattered as he was dead before he hit the floor; brain aneurysm. _

_Still at the time even after they took me and my mom to the hospital and plopped dad in a body bag in a hearse I felt like I killed him. _

_I got back to Chicago and went straight to a dealer I knew on the South Side. The paramedics gave me my dad's wallet so I had $100 in cash it wasn't a lot but I needed a hit of coke. I needed it bad. The guy sold it to me no questions asked except why he hadn't seen me in awhile and that he hoped I didn't have a new dealer. I told him I didn't and he said he would give me a little extra for old time's sake. _

_It felt good having that blow in my pocket. A kind of comfort that it was there and it would take away the pain. Funny thing is though that when I stopped my car it was in front of Allison's apartment building. _

Bender took a break. "Hey, Sporto, think we could have something to drink?"

"Coke…I mean pop okay?" How embarrassing. I didn't mean to say that and got dirty looks from both Allison and Claire.

"Yeah coke if its in brown carbonated liquid form is okay." I was glad that Bender didn't take it wrong.

"Anyone else want some?" Claire and Allison said they did so I went into the kitchen. Mom was there wiping down the counter, her bridge game obviously over. "Did you have fun," I asked her.

"It was nice. But what about you? And what is this with Allison and the little girl?"

"I'm trying to figure that out myself. I'll let you know when I do." I opened the refrigerator and pulled out a two liter bottle and then collected four glasses from the cupboard.

"Why didn't you tell me you knew her?" I knew I would have to face that question from her eventually but now wasn't a good time.

"It's a long story mom; a very long story."

"Well you are a grown man, but I still don't think keeping secrets from your mother is right."

"It's not a secret it just something that hasn't needed to come up."

"Fine I'm going to bed."

"I'll walk you to the stairs." As we arrived at the stairs Allison was coming down. She had been up to check on her daughter. We said good night to mom and she to us and went on up to bed.

"How is Maddie?"

"Sleeping like a rock. I'm sorry I didn't tell you yesterday. I just didn't know it would get this far."

"Don't be sorry. I'm the one who is sorry."

She smiled at me. "I know," was all she said as we went back into the office with John and Claire. I set the tray on the desk and started pouring and handed each of them a glass.

John downed his in one big gulp then said, "So Ally? Want to finish the story?" He released a burp." Claire looked at him in disgust and he apologized.

"Sure why not."

_I was asleep when he knocked on my door. At first I didn't even hear it but he was persistent. "I'm coming. I'm coming, keep your shorts on." I was surprised when I looked through the peephole that he was standing there. I didn't even know he knew where I lived. We never met at my place or his. Until then it had really been strictly professional; we either met at a restaurant or at the center._

"_John? What are you doing here?" _

"_I don't know," was all he said. I moved aside and let him in. He looked like hell. _

"_How did you get my address?" _

"_If you don't want me here, Ally just tell me and I'll leave." _

"_No, its okay. A surprise but okay."_

"_Cute PJ's" It was winter and I had on a pair of Garfield pajamas with feet. "Mine if I have a seat then?"_

"_Go ahead. What happened?" _

"_What happened?" He gave a hollow empty sounding laugh. "I killed my father." _

"_You killed your father?" I asked him again to make sure I heard right. He simply nodded. _

_  
"Tell me what exactly happened" He did. He told me exactly the same thing he told you here. When he finished I told him, "You didn't kill your father, John." He looked at me with tears in his eyes. It was the first time I used his given name. "Your father killed himself. You just happened to be there. If you hadn't gone there when you did and distracted him he may have killed your mother and then died. Then you wouldn't have any family left."_

_  
"I feel so numb. Yet I hurt. I can't explain it." _

"_You had a shock." I got up to get him a drink and when I came back I found him with the dope on my coffee table. _

"_What is that?" _

"_What does it look like?" _

"_You can't do that here." _

"_Just this once." _

"_I can't let you."_

"_Then I will leave." _

"_John do you really want to do that?" _

"_Yes." _

"_Fine." _

"_What?" _

"_Fine. Snort it. Fry your brain. Turn yourself into a younger version of your father. Ruin your life with that the way your dad ruined his with alcohol." _

"_I'm not my father." _

"_Not yet." _

"_I AM NOT MY FATHER!" He screamed and knocked the table over. I jumped and felt scared. I think it was the first time I was actually afraid of a person. Coke and glass from the top that shattered was all over my floor. He looked at me I had backed into the bedroom doorway. "Allison, I'm sorry." He walked towards me and I took an automatic step backwards. "God I am so sorry." He fell to his knees crying. I knelt down next to him. "It can't be inevitable. I don't want to become like him." We sat on the floor and I rocked him in my arms trying to calm him down and felt such empathy with him I kissed him. To my surprise he kissed me back. And well…things went on from there._

"Trust me it was a surprise when I found out I was pregnant."

"Doesn't surprise me. John Bender is very potent," whispered Claire tears in her eyes.

We all looked at her. "All it takes with him is one time."

"What are you talking about, Claire," he asked her gently.

"You bastard!" she yelled jumping up and throwing a stack of magazines from the desk onto the floor.

"Oh my god, Claire what did you do?" asked Allison. Bender looked as confused as I did.

Clair collapsed on the floor and Allison went over and put her arms around her. "I did the only thing my parents would let me do," she whispered through her tears. "I aborted."


	14. Claire's Story

"Oh my god, Claire what did you do?" asked Allison. Bender looked as confused as I did.

Clair collapsed on the floor and Allison went over and put her arms around her. "I did the only thing my parents would let me do," she whispered through her tears. "I aborted."

"What did you just say," Bender asked jumping out off of the couch. Allison stayed right where she was holding Claire and rocking her. It was the way I pictured her with Bender that night she finished describing. "Claire?" I put my hand on his shoulder to hold him back and he shrugged it off.

"Give her space, Bender," I told him. She wasn't in any shape to put up with his sarcasm and crap.

"I've obviously give her too much." He started to go over to where Claire and Allison huddled together in the corner.

"John," said Allison. "Sit back down. When Claire is ready she will talk." He actually listened to her and took a seat back on the couch. Nervously he ran his hands through his hair. We sat there in silence the only sound in the room was Claire's crying and Allison gently hushing her and mumbling something to her in low tones. Bender put his head in his hands. Breaking the silence I said, "I think we need something a little harder than carbonated soft drinks. There is a fully stocked bar in the living room. My mom has gone to bed we can move in there or I can just get what everyone would like."

"Got a bud?" asked John.

Allison looked up from attending to Claire who was beginning to calm down. "No buds for you buddy,"

"I'll drink if I want to."

"You know as well I do that your visitation and keeping Maddie on weekends has to do with your sobriety."

It was obvious he wanted to argue with her but to my relief he didn't. "Fine, give me another cola. Shit, you really know how to keep me facing reality," he said plopping back down on the old couch. "Damn this thing is hard."

"Allison? Vodka?"

Allison smiled and gave a small laugh, "How 'bout a whiskey and coke."

"Okay, and for you, Claire?"

Claire looked up her face tearstained and eyes reddened, "White wine?"

"That was a coke, a whiskey and coke, a white wine and a beer." I left and found a bottle of white zinfandel and hoped that would be good enough, mixed the drink and loaded everything up on the tray. Had to go back and find the cork screw in the kitchen. I was glad mom was so organized and set in her ways that I didn't have to go digging very hard to find it. By the time I got back Claire had dried her eyes and was looking much better.

Everyone was still silent as I passed the drinks around. Downing hers in one gulp Claire asked for another.

Looking very concerned Bender asked, "Are you sure that is a good idea?"

"Well if you want me to go on Andy better keep them coming." I poured her another and this time she sipped it slowly. "I'm sure you all thought my life was just peachy right? Claire the Princess would meet Prince Charming and live in a Gold Coast penthouse? Well life doesn't turn out that way. Certainly no Prince Charming anyway." She and Bender gave each other dirty looks. "About a week before John Bender vanished we had sex."

"Gee thanks, Claire. You really know how to make a guy feel cheap." We turned looking at Bender. "About a week before John Bender vanished we had sex," he said repeating her words in a mocking voice. "Thanks for shattering the illusion that it might have meant something to you. We had sex. Come on Ally, make and exception and let me have a beer." I could see she was thinking about it. She didn't give in though and shook her head.

"Maybe it was more but it helps me get through this calling it sex. That is what it was giving it deeper meaning will kill me. I didn't think anything of it until I was late and even then I didn't think much about it. I had a tendency to be late on occasion but after an extra week and it still hadn't arrived I went to the drug store and bought an EPT. I took the test and it came back with a big pink plus. I didn't want it to be true. It was one time and we were stupid and spontaneous but it was only one time. So I went out and bought another, this time a different brand. The next morning I went through the same ritual and got another positive. I cried for the next two days trying to figure out what to do. My parents thought I was upset because Craig had gone off to college in California and I let them believe it. On the fourth day I knew I had to tell them I didn't have a choice.

_I walked to the living room where my mother sat doing her cross stitch and my father was reading the paper, my little sister was laying in the middle of the floor reading "16 Magazine". It was so perfect. It reminded me of a fifties sitcom, something like Donna Reed or Leave it to Beaver. Then there was me. I felt sick and ran from the room. Not like being sick at that point was new. The entire morning I had morning sickness. _

_My mom saw me standing in the doorway between the living room and dining room and asked "Claire, are you feeling all right?" I didn't say anything and my father looked up. _

"_Honey, you don't look well." He stood and came over to me and led me to the couch. Maggie could have cared less she just told us that we were blocking her light got up and went to her room. At least I didn't have to tell them with my thirteen year old sister watching. My father placed his hand against my forehead, "You don't seem to have a fever. Is something bothering you?" _

_I stood up and said, "Mom, Dad, I think you should sit down." _

"_You didn't damage my Mercedes did you?" That was my mother, always concerned for my well being. _

"_The Mercedes is fine." _

"_Not the BMW?" She asked. I just wanted to smack her. To pull her head away from all the material crap and make her see me. In that moment I knew what Allison was talking about when she said her parents ignored her. That Saturday I though that it wasn't something to get so upset about, but I realized that while my parents fought each other for our love and attention they didn't really love us. It was a status symbol like the cars and the house. _

"_No," I told her, "It's not the BMW. It's me. I'm…I'm…" I couldn't say it. I had to say it but I couldn't. I felt like I was suffocating in the perfect living room where nothing ever changed, where silk flowers and the broken grandfather clock stood untouched by time._

"_Claire?" My father rested his hand on my shoulder but I shrugged it away. _

"_I'm pregnant." There I had said it and I watched them for a reaction. My father laughed. _

"_Nice joke Sweetheart. You had me going for a minute." _

_  
"It wasn't a joke. I am pregnant." _

"_You are what?" My mother said in disbelief. _

"_Pregnant. As in I am going to have a baby." _

"_Craig will have to step up to his responsibility. I'll give his father a call." He started towards the phone and I hated myself. I would not only disappoint my family but I would have to betray Craig too. _

"_It's not Craig's."_

"_Whose is it?" My mother's voice was getting that pitch it always got when she was angry. Never had it been directed at me before; before it was always toward my father or my brother. "I said whose is it, Claire?" _

_I didn't know what to say. I wanted to tell them but they would want to meet you, John and I didn't even know where you were. I told them it was Andy's."_

Beer sprayed out of my nose. "What the hell!" Bender and I yelled at the same time causing the women to jump. "Why did you tell them that Claire? That explains the weird calls my dad was getting and I told him I didn't know what he was talking about and luckily he believed me. What were you trying to do screw up my life too?" I couldn't help it I was mad.

"That wasn't my intention but Bender was gone. I had been by his house and his dad wouldn't tell me anything and his mother said she didn't know where he went. I figured he had gotten his way with me and didn't want to see me anymore."

Bender started pacing. Then after about eight lengths of the small room her turned on her, "You are a bitch. You thought that little of me? You thought that I would just run out and leave after sleeping with you. Well fuck you!"

He started for the door but I blocked him. "No, you aren't going anywhere. We are all going to sit down like adults and finish this."

"Who do you think you are?"

"I don't think I am anyone but I think that you owe Claire sitting down and listening to her." He looked like he was going to go through me anyway. "Do you think I am happy about this? I got at least three weeks worth of lectures from my old man about keeping it in my pants, about not blowing my ride on a girl, about how women are nothing but trouble and a distraction from my goal."

"Sit down, John," Allison told him and he did it. I was surprised how he listened to her.

"I'm sorry, Andy. I didn't know what to do and you popped into my head and so I just told them you. I did tell them later that it wasn't you once I found out my dad called yours. I told them about Bender. Of course my dad went ballistic, I wasn't his little angel anymore and he ignored me. My mom sat me down about two days later and told me that I had an appointment with a women's clinic in the city. By that time I had pretty much accepted that I was pregnant and was thinking about names."

"Like what?" asked John.

"Bethany for a girl and Emmett for a boy."

"Emmett? What you wanted the poor kid to get his ass kicked at school?"

"Well it doesn't really matter now does it?" She snapped back at him. "I was naïve."

"_Why aren't we going to Doctor Chandler?" I asked her when she told us we were going downtown. I just assumed that we would visit our usually OB/GYN. _

"_Because we know Dr. Chandler. He is a family friend and no one outside this family is going to know about this." _

"_Daddy!" I called. He was upstairs and still getting ready for work. _

"_Your father and I talked about this last night and we decided that it is for the best that you have an abortion. I know that seems extreme now Claire but when you are older you will thank us." _

"_Thank you? I was planning on keeping the baby." _

"_Claire, you are only 17. You have your whole life ahead of you and how do you expect to find a husband if you already have a baby." She was talking to me in the same tone she used when I was eight and asked for a pony. I wasn't eight anymore I was seventeen, practically an adult. "You don't know what kind of work a baby is and we will not support you and a baby. I frown on the idea that you want to go to college instead of marrying Craig but I am willing to accept you going to school over raising and out of wedlock bastard child. So young lady this is the deal. Your father and I will let you live here and pay for your college education but in order for that to happen you cannot have the baby." _

_  
I couldn't believe it they were blackmailing me; my own parents. Had I been eighteen and an adult I would have told them what they could do with their money but I wasn't. _

"_Daddy!" I called again and headed up the stairs. _

"_Claire, come back down here. Your father isn't ready to talk to you yet. Maybe later."_

_I ignored her and went up. My father was tying his tie in front of the mirror of Mother's vanity. "Daddy, you have to help me. I want to keep the baby and mom wants me to give it up." He turned and walked right past me as though he wasn't seeing me. It was like being in a surreal nightmare. I tried pinching myself in hopes that I would wake up but it didn't work. I was still there with my mother calling, "Claire, you have to hurry up or we will be late." I didn't know what else to do. I didn't have time to think it all through although I knew my parents weren't going to be happy about it I didn't think they would react like that. I picked up my purse off the sideboard in the foyer and allowed my mother to lead me out to the car. _

_The ride was quiet. I don't think we said two words to each other. At the clinic the nurse was nice and she explained the procedure although I don't think I actually heard it because when I look back I can't remember exactly what they did. I was there for four hours and then my mom took me home. I do remember lying in my bed wondering who I was. I wasn't Claire Standish anymore. Sure the person looking at me in the mirror had my face, my hair, my body, my voice, but it wasn't me. I got up out of bed and packed a few of my favorite outfits and called my brother. _

"_Rob?" I asked before he could even say hello. _

"_Claire, is that you?" At the sound of his voice I started to cry. "Claire sweetie what's wrong?" Between sniffles and sobs I told him what had happened and at the end I asked if I could move in with him. He told me I could for as long as I wanted to. _

"So that is pretty much that. I stayed with Rob while I went to school. He convinced my parents to pay for school although I wasn't living there. I didn't go out or date for the first two years and pretty much cut all contact with my former friends. Things got better between me and my father once my parents divorced. Remember when I told you Andy, about their breaking up 3 months after graduation? Although I know that mom was seeing someone else I can't help but feel that it is partially my fault. That if I hadn't gotten pregnant that they still would be together."

Allison looked at her and shook her head, "Claire, even during detention you made it sound like your parents wouldn't be together very much longer. I don't think anything you did, good or bad, would have changed the way they were headed and if you mom was already with someone else then obviously it was coming."

"I know it just how I feel sometimes." We all looked at Bender.

"Damn! Claire, why didn't you try harder to find me?"

"Where was I supposed to look?"

"I don't know. Once again it's my father's fault. If he hadn't kicked me out."

"You can't blame everything on your father," she told him.

"Ally tells me that often enough I don't need to hear it from you as well. But had I known I would have helped you."

"No you wouldn't have. It's easy to say now but…"

"But nothing. Damn it Claire, I might not have shown it but I would have done anything for you. I loved you."


	15. Love you love you not

A/N First a big thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read and review. You are all very generous with your praise. Next I may not update for a few days but more will be coming. I promise. One more time...I do not own the Breakfast Club.

* * *

"But nothing. Damn it Claire, I might not have shown it but I would have done anything for you. I loved you." Bender said. It was obvious that he was trying not to cry. I didn't know what to say. Suddenly Allison took my hand and gave it a small squeeze.

"You loved me? You didn't love anything but your drugs," she snapped at him. "If you loved me where were you? You should have been there and not Rob. That little girl sleeping upstairs should be mine not Allison's."

"I explained what happened, where I was. But no, poor little Claire as usual it is all about you. Yeah you were a real saint playing girlfriend to Craig but you couldn't even tell your parents it was my baby. No you went and told them it was Andy's. Shows how little you thought of me Claire. We had sex? I thought it was more than that." He stood and started pacing again. Fumbling with his cigarette pack he pulled on out and lit up.

"I told you I only said that because it helped me get through you not being there. If I thought of it as anything more than sex I would have never made it though. I would be more of a basket case than Allison ever was. Instead I had to deny everything. Deny anything I felt for you and anything I might have started to feel for the baby. Deny that I loved you too." As she said that he stopped pacing and turned and looked at her. Claire's eyes were red from crying.

"What did you say?"

Avoiding his eyes she said, "I said I loved you too."

"I can't change the past Claire. I can't change that Maddie isn't our daughter but she is my daughter and I love her."

I noticed Allison sort of fidgeting with the hem of her skirt while seated on the floor. Something was bothering her. As I was about to ask her what it was she spoke. "Do you think it has been easy, Claire?" Claire just looked at her not saying a word. "I love Maddie like crazy but do you know what I had to give up to keep her? I had to drop out of school for a year because I couldn't have her go to school and hold down a job. Then I had to find a job. The internship was good until someone found out that the father was John. That went over real well. I could have denied it like you did but I figured what was the point? If they found out I was lying that would have been even worse although I'm not sure how. So I worked a nice minimum wage job flipping burgers and then once she was born I gave art lessons but that wasn't the best solution because it seemed like Maddie never slept and was always crying. Do you think your life would have been all roses had you kept your baby? If you had defied your parents and kept it then what? Working as a sales associate in your favorite clothing store in the mall? Living with your brother? Do you know how hard it is to have a relationship when a man finds out you already have a child?" She laughed and shook her head. "Yeah it looks good when Maddie is showing off for strangers but you haven't had to have her say, 'but Daddy lets me.' She certainly knows how to make you feel guilty." She flashed John a look as though she knew he was teaching the little girl to favor him. "One of us has to be stable in her life and well it certainly isn't John."

"You think I'm trying to turn Maddie against you," he asked her angrily. She didn't reply. "You know all my life people have thought the worst about me even the people I cared most for. For once I have a clean slate. I have Maddie and she loves me just because I am her father. So I tend to spoil her so what? Little girls need to be spoiled."

She gave a condescending snort, "Yeah spoil her and turn her into the next Claire."

"Hey!" Claire indignantly crossed her arms. "And I never said that having the baby would have been easy but I would have liked a choice."

"What stopped you? You said it yourself you were afraid that daddy and mommy would cut off your money."

Claire looked as though she had been slapped.

"You are just mad because I love Claire and didn't love you." He said leaping to Claire's defense. Allison looked hurt. "Ally I didn't mean that." He realized his words stung and tried to take them back.

"No it's true. You may care about me like I care about you but there was no love between us. It was comfort, loneliness, despair, and deep friendship. It was sex for all the wrong reasons. You need….both of you need to sit down and find out why you are acting like this after all these years." She slipped easily into the role of counselor. Where before her appearance protected her she now used her job as a defense.

"You still love me?" Claire seemed surprised at his declaration although Allison and I didn't.

"I guess so," he told her.

Allison stood and left the room without saying a word. I followed her out into the hall where she was standing staring at the family photos, hugging herself. "You okay?" I asked her. When she turned I could tell she was trying to keep from crying.

"I don't know. Are you?"

"Lots of surprises tonight."

"Like Maddie?"

"Like Maddie. She seems to be a great kid."

"Most of the time she is." She paused as if gathering up all her strength. "I feel like such a bad mother. There I said it."

"Why?" I asked and led her to the living room. Claire and John needed some time alone and I needed some time alone with Allison. We sat on the floral printed couch and she continued.

"Lots of reasons. That I can barely afford to support her is the main one. I love my job but it doesn't pay much and Shermer isn't the cheapest place to live. I didn't want her growing up in a bad neighborhood in Chicago which is all I would have been able to afford, and John lives here so when this job came up I jumped at it. Rent out here take most of my pay and I have to tell her no for a lot of things. She is only four and as she gets older it will only get worse. Then there is John. I know he is doing much better and I am glad that he is but he tends to go over my head on a lot of things regarding Maddie. Don't get me wrong he helps out but…" I must have been staring at her because she asked. "Is something wrong?"

"I just don't remember you ever talking so much."

"Is that good or bad?" When she asked I flashed back to standing in the library and being amazed at her makeover.

_What happened to you?_  
_Why? Claire did it... What's wrong?_  
_Nothing's wrong... it's just so different, you know? I can see your face. _

_Is that good or bad?  
It's good._

"It's good."

"I'm not boring you?"

"Not at all. You know I was really shocked when I found out Maddie was your daughter."

"I figured as much. Guess you were too in shock to go as nuts as Claire although she handled it better than I expected."

"I guess it wasn't so much that she was your daughter it was that she was your daughter with John Bender."

Smiling she said, "Yeah I was pretty surprised about that myself."

"I was thinking 'how could she sleep with him', but realized that I had no claim on you." I just looked at my feet. Finally I decided to try again, "I really am sorry for what happened that Monday."

She sat there cradling one of the throw pillows in her lap. For a moment she didn't answer then said, "I know. I am too. Deep down I knew things wouldn't change overnight. I knew that just because Claire talked to me on Saturday it wouldn't continue. She even said as much. And I knew that John wouldn't invite me to one of his heavy metal vomit parties, and I knew that learning to think for oneself takes longer than one day, but part of me wanted to believe that it could happen."

"I tried calling to apologize."

"I know that too," she smiled a wry smile. "It surprised my parents that I was getting calls from a boy. I didn't want to hear your apology. If I did I might have given…no I would have given you another chance and I didn't want to be hurt again."

"I wish I could go back and fix it."

"If wishes were horses…"

Leaning over I took her hands."True. But Allison, I really liked you."

Just then John and Claire came out of the office and to the living room. "There you guys are. Claire and I are cutting out."

"So soon," I asked concerned at first but then saw both of them were smiling.

"It's been a lot of fun," he said sarcastically, "But we have a lot to talk about and thought we would leave you two kids alone." Claire just smiled a large beaming smile and hooked her arm through his pulling him closer. "I'll be by your place about noon to pick Maddie up if that is okay, Al?"

"Yeah that's fine."

We all gave each other hugs. I was amazed that they let go of each other long enough to do so and Claire whispered to me, "Hope things work out for you and Allison like they seem to be working out for us," and gave me a wink. It was good to know that things were looking up for her. I showed them to the door shutting it behind them.

Allison stood, "You know I should be going too. I hate to wake Maddie up. Knowing her she won't want to go back to bed, but at least tomorrow is Sunday," she headed toward the stairs.

"You don't have to go."

She stopped halfway up and turned. "What?"

"You don't have to go. The guest bed is a queen and that should be enough room for you and Maddie. Then you don't have to wake her and you can get some sleep too." I hoped I didn't sound as stupid to her as I sounded to myself.

"I couldn't. I mean its nice that you are asking but it's your mother's house and I wouldn't want to impose." She started back up the stairs and I followed.

"Well you did drink. I wouldn't want you to get in an accident." I knew I sounded desperate but I didn't want her to leave.

"I guess that is as good of an excuse as any." We walked into the bedroom where. Maddie was still sound asleep. Allison sat on the side of the bed and stroked her hair.

For a moment I tried to imagine that they were my family. I never gave kids much thought. An image of Jessica popped into my head. Shit. I'd have to give her a call when I got back to the city. She was mad when I last talked to her a few days ago and I hadn't tried calling her back.


	16. Stay

I couldn't sleep. After the day I had who could blame me. I spent the night recalling the day. It felt like a life time since I met Brian in the Northwestern Law School Library. Had it really been fourteen hours earlier? It felt more like a week. Then I had my feeling about Allison to deal with. From when I opened the door on Thursday I knew I would have to deal with them. The whole idea that she had a daughter with Bender…it was something that I was having trouble wrapping my head around still.

Tired of lying in bed but not tired enough to sleep I got up and walked down the hall and peeked into the guest room where she and her daughter were sharing a bed. Maddie had stolen all the blankets leaving Allison curled into a little ball trying to keep warm. Before bed I gave her a pair of boxers and an old t-shirt, I never knew she had such great legs. Although it was late spring and had been pretty warm the guest room was always a little on the cold side so I pulled the old quilt out of the closet and covered her with it. As I did so she opened her eyes. "Is something wrong," she muttered sitting up.

"No, I was just checking on you. Maddie has all the blankets and…" she cut me off by placing her finger to her lips and motioning to the little girl who was beginning to stir next to her. "Sorry." I said in a whisper.

"It's okay. Trying to get her to go back to sleep once she is up is impossible."

"Going to sleep at all is too."

"Can't sleep?" She asked and I shook my head. Scooting over closer to Maddie she patted the bed and I sat next to her. "I guess today was a lot to take in."

"You can say that again."

Pulling the quilt over her legs she said, "I don't know why but I feel like I should be apologizing for Maddie being here."

"My mom won't mind."

"No, what I mean is apologizing for her being born."

"You don't have to do that."

"I know. Logically I know but I also know that Claire isn't happy about it and I saw the look on John's face."

"Don't worry about Claire."

"I'm not. She never gave me the time of day after detention but John is Maddie's father. I know John and I could see that he was regretting her. He would much rather that she was Claire's." She looked down and ran her fingers over the stitching of the quilt.

"Im sure he loves her. We all look back and miss what might have been on occasion."

Looking up she smiled at me. "You are right. I feel like a bad person though."

"You are probably the best person I ever met. You think for yourself, you don't put other people down, you are true and honest." I just couldn't imagine her being a bad person. It could have been me holding on to the image I had of her from that Saturday though.

"No I am."

"Why do you think that?"

"Do you know what I was thinking even while I was sitting there trying to comfort Claire? Do you?" This time it was my turn to put my finger to my lips. She turned and tucked the blankets tighter around Maddie who was sucking her thumb. "I wish she wouldn't suck her thumb. I've gotten her to stop during the day but at night it's hopeless."

"What were you thinking?"

"Do you really want to know?" She asked softly.

"Yeah, I really want to know."

"I was thinking thank god she had the abortion. I was thinking if she had a child with John how that would shove Maddie into the background and make her second. I don't want her to have to play second fiddle to his child with Claire. For a moment I was glad that I had Maddie and she didn't. I was hoping that her existence would drive a wedge between them so that they wouldn't get together and there would be no chance of a child." I didn't know what to say to her. "See I told you I was a bad person."

"I don't think that makes you a bad person. You just want to protect Maddie. I don't like John very much maybe you are underestimating him. From how he was with Maddie I can see she means the world to him." I remembered how proud he looked when I asked him about the picture on his desk.

"He does love her but he would love her more if she was Claire's." What could I say to that? I didn't want to tell her she was probably right because she probably was. As I tried to figure out how to reply she gave a huge yawn.

"I guess I should let you sleep," I said kind of relieved that I had a reason not to reply. I started for the door but turned and leaned over kissing her on the forehead. As I turned out the light she called out, "Could you stay?" I stopped in my tracks. "Until I fall asleep that is." I could feel my heart beating. Things were going fast but that wasn't necessarily a bad thing. I just hoped I wasn't reading too much into it. Without saying a word I climbed into bed next to her and laid on top of the covers. The next thing I knew it was morning.

Waking to the chirping birds I opened my eyes and tried to remember where I was; the guest room. Then I tried to remember how I got there. Trying to sit up I felt a weight over my waist and realized it was an arm and Allison was snuggled against my back. Carefully so I wouldn't wake her I slid out from underneath her arm, and headed downstairs to the kitchen.

"Do you want Maple Syrup or Strawberry syrup," I heard my mom asking someone.

"I never heard of Strawberry syrup," a small voice piped up. I had forgotten about Maddie. "My mommy always has maple for my awfuls." My mom laughed and I couldn't help but smiled.

"You mean waffles, Sweetie." She said as the toaster popped out two for Maddie.

"Hi Mom."

"Hello Andrew," she replied coolly. It wouldn't have been obvious to other people but my mom usually only called me Andrew when she was worried about something or if she was mad at me.

"Hi Maddie."

"Hi Uncle Andy," she said leaping off her chair and giving me a hug. I noticed my mom arching her eyebrow in a questioning manner.

"I was just giving the little girl breakfast. I found her in the living room this morning watching Scooby Doo cartoons. I guess you had a late night?"

"Yeah Claire and John left about twelve thirty or so. Allison and I called it a night shortly after that."

Mom placed the plate of waffles cut into bite sized pieces with strawberry syrup on the table. "Here you go Sweetie, come back to the table and eat."

"Okie dokie," she said and sat back down. The t-shirt I had given Allison for her the night before was longer than I thought It would be and dragged the floor. I hoped Maddie didn't trip and hurt herself. "Do you want some awfuls too Uncle Andy?"

"Sure," I said. Normally I didn't eat breakfast. My dad would have made me but as the years went by and I didn't wrestle and I had early classes breakfast was no longer the most important meal of my day.

"Well you know where the freezer is and the toaster too."

I didn't get why my mom was in such a crabby mood this morning. "Is everything okay mom?" I asked popping the waffles in the toaster.

"Just fine."

That was an answer she used to give dad when things weren't fine but she didn't want to talk about what was really making her angry. "I know I should have called to make sure it was okay that everyone came back here last night." The look on her face didn't change with my apology so that wasn't the problem.

"Morning," said Allison standing in the doorway. She had changed into her clothes from yesterday.

"Morning Mommy, I'm eating awfuls. Grandma Olivia made them for me." As she said that Allison looked at me. I just shrugged. "They have strawberry syrup."

"Mmmm strawberry syrup sounds yummy." She said sitting next to her daughter.

"Can we buy some at daddy's store?"

"We will talk about it. When you are done eating we will get you dressed and be on our way. Mrs. Clark, thank you for letting us stay last night."

"Not a problem. It's been ages since there have been children in the house."

"Jeff had his family over here just the other night," I reminded her through a mouth of Eggo ™ .

"Perhaps but the boys are so grown up. And they are boys. Little girls are different."

"Grandma Olivia told me that I was sugar and spice and everything nice."

Allison put her arm around Maddie, "That you are." Then she looked at my mom, "Grandma Olivia?"

"Well I don't approve of children calling people by their given names and Mrs. Clarke sounded so formal especially given the situation," mom explained. Allison and I just looked at each other. "Would you like a cup of coffee? Tea maybe," my mom asked in her pinched tone. I was starting to really wonder what was up with her.

"Tea would be nice. Thank you."

Mom put some water on but told me I knew where the bags were and left the room.

"I don't think she was okay with us spending the night," Allison said as she sipped her tea.

After they left I started to pack up my things to head back to the city. I had an interview with Markwitz, Hale and Kramer a big law firm in the Loop. "Do you need anything washed?" my mom asked.

"No, I think I have everything."

"Good to see you taking some responsibility," she said snapping at me again. I just shrugged. It wouldn't do anything good asking her because she expected me to know and I didn't have a clue.

I


	17. Jessica

A/N Hi everyone! Sorry I have been away but life was complicated and time limited. Hopefully I will manage to finish this story. I know I have "The Weekend is Over" to work on as well but I have decided to do them one at a time starting with this one. Anyway reviews are always welcome.

* * *

I got back to my apartment in the city about seven pm. Mom and I had dinner together before I left and she was still moody. To make conversation I told her what I found out about her rights to her house and her mental well being. Even if she was being strange she was still my mother and I wanted the best for her which is more than my dad or Jeff did. I wish she would have told me what was going on. Maybe Allison could get it out of her at their next session.

As I walked in my roommate Paul and his girl friend separated from their lips. "Hey Andy, you back?"

"No, I'm a figment of your imagination," I told him plopping my gym bag on the floor and heading for the kitchen. "Hi Shelby," I said to the girl straightening her blouse. I had never noticed it before but she looked a lot like Claire. She blushed and gave me a small smile in greeting. I kind of felt bad for not calling to let Paul know I was on my way but I had other things on my mind.

"You should have checked in you had another two firms call you for interviews. I pretended I was you and accepted them for you. Check the calendar."

I pulled a beer out of the fridge cracked it open, "Thanks mom," then plopped down in the old recliner and threw one leg over the arm. I'd check the calendar later.

"You're welcome. Just remember you owe me. So how was the funeral?"

"It was good I guess as far as funerals go it was nice enough."

"Where is home?" asked Shelby. She was a quiet girl and never said much so when she did you felt obligated to talk to her.

"Shermer."

"Nice town. I'm from Zion but my aunt and uncle live in Shermer."

"Really what is their name?" I asked not expecting to know them.

"Standish. My cousin Claire is the same age as we are. Do you know her?"

So that is why she reminded me so much of Claire appearance wise. "Yeah I do. I saw her yesterday."

"I haven't seen her in ages. Even though we lived near by my family and hers weren't close. Her mom is my mom's sister and they had a falling out of some sort years ago. I was about ten so I don't know the details and never asked. Anyway there were rumors that Claire got herself into trouble with some jock years ago."

Just great, when Claire said that she told everyone the baby was mine I didn't think too much of it other than my dad was pissed but now it sounds like it had made the national news. "Well I can tell you that it isn't true she said she didn't have any children." Technically I wasn't lying; Claire had no children. Shelby didn't look like she believed me though. Often I got the impression that she didn't like me very much.

"So then home was uneventful?"

"More eventful than expected. I ran into some old friends. Claire," I said looking pointedly at Shelby, "and some others that I hadn't seen since graduation. I had some problems with my brother too. If you have some time, Paul we need to talk about that."

"What kind of problems?"

"Some that may need a family lawyer. We can talk about that later."

"You'll have to make an appointment buddy. Shelby and I leave tomorrow to go Lake Geneva for a week of R&R."

"I wish I could have a week just for relaxing. But I have interviews," I glanced at the calendar which hung on the kitchen wall.

"Yeah I imagine losing a parent is stressful enough without your brother giving you grief that requires my legal expertise. But when I get back I promise Paul R Jenkins Attorney-at-law will be at your service."

The door bell rang and Shelby volunteered to get it. As she left Paul started telling me about the Sox game I missed. He was telling me about a triple play that pretty much won the game by the sixth inning I smelled a familiar scent which made me sit up. Jessica was here. "Jessie, I was going to call you."

"Well I can't count on that can I? After all you never thought of giving me a courtesy call to let me know you were going home to your dad's funeral. I wouldn't have known if it wasn't for Paul telling me. Now here you are at home and you haven't called either."

"Let's not do this right now," I told her as I rubbed my temples trying to fight off the start of the migraine I felt forming behind my eyes.

"Fine. When do you want to do this then," she asked exasperatedly.

"I don't know."

"You don't know? Well I don't know either Andy. Things were going well for us and now? You've hit the breaks and I feel like I kept going…right through the windshield. Do you know how much it hurts to have you ignore me? Do you want to break up?"

"No." I probably should have said something more to her but part of me wasn't sure if I still wanted to be with her.

"No?"

"No," I replied again and for a moment I was back at that Saturday and Vernon was asking Bender if he wanted another detention. The conversation wasn't all the similar but lately everything seemed to go back to that one day years ago.

"Forget it: Just forget it." She said grabbing her purse which she had set down on the table and throwing her coat over her arm. "I'm going. When you are willing to be a man and sit down and discuss our relationship with me you know how to reach me, or at least Paul does so maybe he can explain to you how a telephone works."

She stormed towards the door. By the time I told myself to get up and stop her, "JES…" the door had slammed and she was gone, "sica. Fuck!" I screamed tossing the small blue glass vase on the table by the door at the door. It shattered. Turning I walked back into the living room where Shelby was looking at me with big frightened eyes and Paul was just staring. "What the hell are you two looking at," I snarled.

"Maybe I shouldn't go this week. Andy; are you okay? I mean in all the years we have known each other I've never seen you explode like that," Paul said as I slumped back into the chair.

"I'm sorry." He was right I never exploded like that. I learned from my dad not to just explode but to save up that anger and energy for my opponent. The problem was currently I had no opponent to use it on. The aggression after my wrestling days ended was directed towards whoever I debated in classes or took on in a mock court setting. Now between school and life there was no outlet. "You don't have to stay. I'll be fine I just need some rest."

"Hope you haven't lost Jessica."

"Me too. I should have called her before I left my mom's place. It just slipped my mind."

Paul clapped his hand on my shoulder and said, "Don't worry about it that little ring on your dresser will bring her around."

"The word "ring" brought Shelby back into the conversation. "Oh-My-God you are going to ask Jessica to marry you? That is so exciting." I took another sip of my beer that I forgot about when Jessica showed up, and studied the label.

"Andy, what's wrong man?" Paul asked.

"I don't know if I want to marry her."

"You were sure when you bought the ring less that two weeks ago. What happened?"

I shrugged and sat up. Placing my elbow on my knees I ran my hands through my hair. "Ever get smacked with the past?"

"Andy if you are going to go on a rampage about what a bastard your dad was again…"

"No. No, nothing about him. There is just more to it." I looked up to see Shelby eyeing me carefully. Then she said, "It's another girl isn't it?"

"The one who got away I guess would be a good way to describe her."

Paul draped his arm around his girlfriend's shoulders and said, "You think you still want her?" I just nodded. "How can you be so sure?"

"I forgot about Jessica didn't I?"

"Well you have had lots of stress with your dad passing away and all."

"I thought about her constantly until I saw Allison again."

"If you thought about her why didn't you call her before you left? Once you got to Shermer? Why was I the one telling her where you were? See Andy, it was the stress. Give it a week and you will see. Things will be back to normal. You don't have to ask Jessica right away but you will. You know you two belong together."

I looked at the picture on the end table. It was a taken the day she taught me to ride a horse only in this shot she was on her stallion and I was on the ground, safe and sound holding the reins. Both of us were smiling. I remember thinking at that moment how life couldn't be any better than it was with Jessica. Then there was Allison and she made me feel … real.

"Whatever you decide will be the right choice but here is a question? If the other one was so great why did you two break up."

"We weren't ever really together." He was right. It dawned on me. If we were never together how could I be so sure it would work out between Allison and me? Was I really going to be willing to gamble my relationship with Jessica away? We were the perfect couple. She was finishing up her internship in pediatrics and she fit in well with the type of people that I would get to know at the law firm, which ever one that may be. I tired to stand up but felt sick and I sat back down. I was still worried about what others thought of me even as an adult. She was the perfect trophy wife to have two point five kids with, a house in the suburbs, and a dog. Was that really what I wanted? What did I want?

"See you weren't together. Then why wonder about it? She is the past and Jessica…you always said she was your future. It's time to stop looking back, Andy. It's time to start looking ahead. But for now you should look ahead to that interview you have tomorrow and Shelb and I should look head to her parents vacation house on the lake."

When I looked up I realized they were gathering their stuff and making their way toward the door. "Now," said Paul putting on his best parental tone, "are you going to be okay by yourself, young man?" I nodded. "Your mother and I expect this mess to be cleaned up by the time we get back." I couldn't help but give a small chuckle and his act. "Really Andy, that gives you a week to clean it and try to not to leave your sweat-socks everywhere." That got a full laugh.

"Im not that bad am I?"

"You haven't been in your room lately."

"And you have?"

"To answer your extension, genius. Trust me if your mom were to see that…"

"Okay okay I get the picture. You two have a great week:"

"We will;" said Paul opening the door and leading Shelby out. She gave me a small wave good-bye and I gave her one in return. Once they were gone I began cleaning the glass and crumpled flowers and wondered at how in high school that seemed like the most complicated thing in the world. How becoming an adult looked so easy. It wasn't. Not really, parents just made it look that way because they had been doing it for so long. It was actually more complicated than high school was.


End file.
